There was a breakthrough in the standoff over revenues between the legislature and the administration today. While the Governor and his allies have steadfastly maintained that wealthy Vermonters cannot possibly sustain greater tax burdens, and that additional revenues must instead come from kicking poor people off of Reach Up and taking away their Earned Income Tax Credits, negotiators have reportedly found an alternative option for struggling Vermonters who may balk at losing their state-funded support.

Under the alternative, low-income Vermonters can opt to pay for their increasing tax burden in labor, rather than actual dollars, and that labor will be put directly where it is most needed – in the service of rich residents.

“Our wealthy, important citizens, simply pay too much in taxes. I don’t think anyone even argues that fact any more. It’s important that the rest of us do our fair share at accommodating these most precious of Vermonters, so that they can be sure to be kept in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed – and which they so richly deserve,” said one noted UVM economist.

He added, “when you see these folks having to cut down their trips to Europe to only 4 or 5 a year…. well, it just breaks your heart.”

Under the plan, low-income Vermonters will be able to continue receiving the Earned Income Tax Credit and Reach Up benefits by spending 50 hours a week cleaning houses, tending garden, or serving as valets for Vermonters earning more that $500,000 a year.

“It’s win-win,” one Representative said. “Our prosperity continues unabated, and those lazy slobs finally get some exercise. Anyone who has a problem with this plan just has no compassion whatsoever.”