All posts by PeteySweety

What Needs To Be Done About Shumlin (Updated from today’s, 6/6, front page)

All right.  Enough of this silence shit (as Sean Connery might have put it in The Untouchables).  Little Dems must be doing the vigil game as the Shumlin/Dodge story gets worse and worser.  

It occurs to me that since I started voting here in Vermont in ’76, I’ve voted for a shitload of Dems.  That makes me a Little Dem myself–or as Leftfield would have put it: “A Lib-er-al Fuck.”  So, I hereby declare that, as of the 2014 elections, not one single Dem will get my vote, unless, of course, there comes about some kind of just resolution to the Jeremy Dodge SCANDAL.  I voted for Diamond in 1980, and every two years I vote for Ann Cummings and a whole lot of other Dems usually, along with my Liberty Union, Prog, and Libertarian choices.  But, from now on, I’m boycotting the Vermont Democratic Party, and I will urge others to do the same, unless, as I said, miracle of miracles happens, and Shumlin owns up, gives Dodge back his place and INSTRUCTS BILL SORRELL TO WORK WITH THE VERMONT ACLU AND VERMONT LEGAL AID IN INVESTIGATING ANY AND ALL CASES OF FINANCIAL EXPLOITATION OF THE POOR, ELDERLY, AND DISABLED BY OTHER VERMONTERS OR FIRMS OR ORGANIZATIONS IN OR OUT-OF STATE.  

This will, of course, include real estate deals, but hopefully, down the line, all ABUSE of the poor, elderly, and disabled needs to be addressed.  Bill Sorrell has apparently been QUITE REMISS in his duty as Vt. AG in investigating cases of abuse of the elderly and disabled.  If Sorrell continues to refuse to do his job, he should resign, or be voted out of office in 2014.  Same with Shumlin if he continues his UNETHICAL behavior in the Jeremy Dodge CASE.  

This “the alternatives are so much worse” BULLSHIT from the Vermont Dems needs to STOP NOW!  If I have to, along with my vote for Bill Doyle every two years, I’ll vote for other goddamned Republicans, if no Prog, Liberty Union, or Libertarian candidates are running in those particular slots.  I am FED UP with the HYPOCRISY that says it is better for the Democratic Party to be THE NAZIS than the Republican Party!

I will ‘strongly urge’ and write about and talk about this message:  BOYCOTT THE VERMONT DEMOCRATIC PARTY UNTIL IT STRAIGHTENS ITSELF OUT!

As of now, consider me a LibertyUnion-Progressive-Libertarian.  

A sitting Vermont Governor, who is also a MILLIONAIRE, has committed, while in office, what seems to me, close to a criminal act of financial exploitation against a Vermont resident.  Shumlin has hired none other than M. Jerome Diamond to cover his ass for him.  Who will Jeremy Dodge get for an attorney?  The firm of Larry, Darryl, and Darryl?  This is an OUTRAGE.  Something you expect from someone like Dick Cheney or Donald Trump.  IT IS THE WAY HENRY KISSINGER TREATED THE WORLD!

So, GET REAL, Dems.  This one won’t fly.  People will remember this one next year– Governor Illuzzi, etc.

Remember Nixon digging a deeper hole for himself, and our boy Bill with Monica?  

The formula is simple:  There can be no Peace without Justice, there can be no Justice without Truth, there can be no Justice in the nation and the world without JUSTICE IN OUR OWN BACKYARDS.  Shumlin has violated Justice and Truth.  Are You Going To Let That Stand?

Have a nice day.

UPDATE:

So…this morning’s (6/6) news (see front page, TA) has Shumlin offering the land back to Jeremy Dodge in exchange for payment of expenses he’s incurred.  Good (hmmm…).  And two Republicans calling for an investigation of the ins and outs of these kinds of real estate deals and how a low-income person’s property tax debt can be used by those folks with a predatory bent.  Good (hmmm…).  And Jerry Diamond saying that, yes, the property tax angles need to be addressed by the State Department of Taxes, and that the Attorney General’s office can offer its advice to that Department.  Good (Sorrell?…BIG hmmm…Where was he last fall?).  AND (yes, it gets better), the Dodge family seems to be delighted and willing to accept the Governor’s DEAL (again…hmmm…).

Gee…A HAPPY ENDING for all, and God Bless Us Everyone!  Just the same, I’d rather have seen a court battle, where all the bullshit could have been exposed.  

Oh yeah, speaking of bullshit, it seems Vt. Legal Aid told the Dodges Tuesday that they couldn’t help them because they don’t do real estate  (hmmm…Just WHAT DOES Vt. Legal Aid do?).

As of this morning, the Dodge’s have yet to retain an attorney.  Seems Vt. Legal Aid gave them the names of a few real estate lawyers.  Nice of them.  (such ADVOCACY for the poor and disadvantaged is truly ‘heartwarming’ (…hmmm…Are there a lot of Little Dems working at Vt. Legal Aid?…hmmm…).

Well now, I guess, everybody can let their tummies go all soft, sigh, and say:  “I’m glad that’s over.  I was beginning to get a little worried there.  We might have wound up with Anthony Pollina as Governor in 2015.  Whew.  Radical shit.  But the SYSTEM WORKED.”  It sure did, folks, and you know something?–THE SYSTEM SUCKS!  THE SYSTEM SMELLS!  Shumlin, Diamond, Vt. Legal Aid, real estate lawyers, Sorrell, etc.–BIG STINK!

There should still be an investigation.  Because Shumlin did something wrong.  And not just to Dodge.  But to all of us, and the State of Vermont.  Defraud is a good word, at the very least.  And not just once, but over and over.  Defraud and Re-Defraud…and on and on.

And Republicans jumping in?  Not Dems, Republicans?  Boy, if this were a Mystery-Thriller, I’d take it back to the library and recommend they not carry the author’s next book.

Ah, Peter, stop it.  They just made Vermont all safe and cozy for people who want to invest here.  Like THE MOB.  Those guys in Jersey are looking at this and saying:  “Hey.  We gotta get on up to Vermont.  Look at this shit.  Look at that Governor.  And their Attorney General.  Man, we gotta get a piece of this.  Look at how they conned the living shit out of everyone.  Those boys are pros, like us.”  Yes.

This all really smells.

I recommend a Special Legislative Session for hearings on possible censure of Shumlin, or recommendations for legal action by the AG’s office (hummm…).  And I recommend all Vermont Third Parties that are having state caucuses this summer pass resolutions condemning Shumlin, Sorrell, and those in the Vt. Democratic Party who might have the nerve to defend them.  And also call for a thorough investigation.  I recommend some Dem, or Pollina or Zuckerman, primary Shumlin next year, and then run independently in November if Shumlin has the gall to run again.  

And I recommend we all now bow our heads in a moment of silent vigil.  For they have done it to us once again.  Well, at least they didn’t taser Dodge.  Or did they?  Amen.    

 

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

It Is THIS Despicable–OUTRAGE!

I posted this yesterday on Facebook, and now I’m posting it here, word for politically incorrect word.  After reading Peter Hirschfeld’s ‘masterpiece’ in this morning‘s TIMES-ARGUS, wherein he notes that Jeremy Dodge is a “ne’er-do-well” with a criminal record, including domestic abuse, and possessing “anti-social tendencies,” I am outraged that there now seems to be an attempt to apologize and ‘explain-away’ the despicable behavior of a sitting Vermont Governor.  Shumlin should resign and move to New Jersey.  What’s left of THE MOB would love him.

So, below is how I see Shumlin in his arrogance and corruption.  You folks may not like the R word, or the Jewish references, but at least I’m being ‘intentionally’ funny and politically incorrect.  Shumlin’s explanations are only funny in their outrageous/beyond-the-pale sense, and there is not one molecule of correctness in his dealings with Jeremy Dodge.

Shumlin should be impeached.  He should be dragged into court.  He stole the primary in 2010 and he’s still stealing.  I hope this SCANDAL brings him down.  It would be fitting if a ‘ne’er-do-well habitual offender with anti-social tendencies’ brings down a ‘ne’er-do-well habitual offending (VSEA, Reach-up) CRIMINAL Governor’ (with anti-social tendencies).

Yes, little Dems, your number 1 Rich Big Dem has his own WATERGATE now.  Defending or apologizing for him, or demonizing the victim, just won’t do here.  Preying on the mentally and emotionally imbalanced is on the level of PEDOPHILIA.  If Shumlin were found to be a CHILD MOLESTER, would you defend him?  This is one more RAPE (yes, that’s the word) of the disadvantaged and disabled.  The AG’s office has apparently hundreds of cases backlogged on abuse of the elderly and mentally disadvantaged that it has refused to investigate and close.  Bill Sorrell is a criminal too, and he should go when Shumlin goes, for the AG’s office should have been on this real estate case last Fall.

The Vermont Democratic Party needs to CLEAN HOUSE.  Shumlin should go.  Sorrell should go.  And perhaps Deb Markowitz’s role as Secretary of State should be looked at in regards to the Vt. Dem 2010 Primary recount.  (or was she simply just WATERING HER PLANTS?–I noticed Deb’s Plants Story during IRENE got no play here on GMD…hmmm…)

There.

Now for the fun stuff.

Friday, May 24th FACEBOOK post:

BREAKING NEWS…Governor Shumlin Explains About Jeremy Dodge…just an added aside…10 seconds ago…

“Sheeet. The guy’s mental.  I helped him out by buying his dump cheap.  House is a dump, you know.  But I’m gonna fix it up, get the town to make that a private road.  We need more private roads in Vermont.  58,000 bucks.  Do you know what I could do with 58,000?  Do you know what you could do?  And Jerry?  Hell, the little retard can buy shitloads of lottery tickets.  Give him something to do instead of just sitting around twitching.  And what if he scratches out a big winner?  Or plays Megabucks and wins two mil?  Hell, then I’d gladly sell him his shithole house back for, say, 100,000.  But I’m keeping the road.  I made plans.  This Governor job might not last.  Maybe I won’t even run again next year, if all of you are so bent out of shape about me helping out some desperate little retard who was going to be foreclosed on and sent to some Halfway House.  I mean, I’m getting more than a little sick of this shit.  First, I get my chops busted about the State Employees Union, then it’s all that whining about Reach Up, whatever, and now you’re all bent about me knowing a good real estate deal when I see one.  What?  You want a Governor with no fiscal sense?  You want a Governor who throws money around at every poor-ass dumb douche-bag who probably doesn’t even vote?  You want me to do shit like that?  And then, what?  You want me to raise taxes on the rich?  No fucking way!  Fuck you!  I’M the Rich.  Are you stupid?  So, let’s just drop this Jeremy or Jerry Dodge shit and MOVE FUCKING ON!  It’s still May of 2013.  I’ve got a lot more shit to do by next February.  Maybe there will even be another IRENE?  Ever thought of that?  Or are you all retards too?  I’m your fucking Governor.  You elected me, remember, because Republicans do REALLY bad shit.  Randy Brock would not have shelled out 58,000 to some retard.  He would have waited to buy the shithole at auction.  And what about Obama?  How come he can fuck with Social Security and none of you liberal-fucks say anything?  Why?  Cause he’s Black, right?  And I’m the Jew, in your mind.  Next, you’ll be blaming me for Gaza, which is a bunch of bullshit too because all Israel is trying to do is help those poor retarded Palestinians with the upkeep on their land.  Maybe put in some private roads.  Get some tourist income in Gaza.  Geez.  So, anyway, I’m not saying any more on this.  I’ll let the little retard stay a while in his fucking dump before I take it over.  But he has to move his ass out by February.  I got things to do.  What?  It’s COLD in February?  No shit.  This is Vermont.  If you can’t take the cold or a little flood now and then, well…get the fuck out!  Let me know when you get ready to move somewhere else.  I’ll send my team of lawyers to look at your houses.  They’ll make you an offer.  My advice, take it!  Sheeet.  Retards.  What next?  Gay retards?  Hope they own some property.  And nice houses.  Gay houses have lots of closet space.  Okay, that’s all.  Go write this up now.  And watch what you say.  Oh…and Happy Memorial Day, veterans!  Yeah, vets.  I’ll help out any vet who needs to sell.  I’m not just a closet Jew.  I’m a closet American.  But I should get a good deal, what with the holiday and all.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.
 

Atrocities–My New Facebook ‘Friend’

Afghanistan.  The Pashtun people and the Talibans?  Piss on them all, man.  

Like when I was in the Nam–two fucking tours–we shot every fucking thing that moved.  Old women and old men, little kids and babies, the livestock, and the young girls after we had some good healthy American fun with them.  And then we burned it all.

The joke was:  You take all the friendlies out on ships in the South China Sea.  Then you bomb the country flat.  Then you sink the ships.

That’s what we should have done.  Except, back then, all you whining liberals and peace creeps and hippies and media fuckers wouldn’t let us.  So we lost the war.

Still, we got in our licks.  Most of you dumb shits still think My Lai was something special.  Shit, we did that all over.  Every fucking day.  Since ’65.  How the fuck do you think over 3 million of them gooks got greased?  I mean, yeah, the planes, the choppers, and the artillery boys did most of it, but us guys on the ground finished up for them.  19 here, 67 there, 142 there–all over the goddamn country.  Every day, like I said, for years.  They were just fucking slopes, gooks.  And all of them Charlie.  And having babies to make more Charlies.  So, we shot them all.  And burned their villes, and destroyed their rice crops, and made good and goddamn sure nobody gave us any shit about it.  Right on up to Westmoreland.  Hell, he helped us cover it all up.  He was a dumbass shit for a commanding General, but smart enough to know you can’t have a good body count and look like you’re winning if you declare 90% of your kills to be fucking civilians.  When, in fact, like I said, they’re just all Charlies anyway.  Man, what we could have done if we didn’t have to look over our shoulders all the time for some goddamn TV crew.

So, Afghanistan?  Hope the guys there are on the program.  If they’re smart and want to get through it, they will be.  I got some laughs out of it already when all the fuss was made about pissing on those Korans, and the two little kids zapped by a chopper, and the women…yeah.  You whiny fuckers send us over there to kill for you, and then you don’t like hearing about it, do you?  Terrorists?  Talibans?  Yeah, like VC.  Over 3 million of them.  That’s how you get the terrorists.  Kill them all.

I also get a kick out of this drone shit.  I mean, you assholes expect them things not to kill civilians?  Hell.  Just like a B-52 strike.  You kill enough of them, you’ll get some Talibans in the body count.  How the fuck do you think war works?  

What’s that?  You don’t want to hear about it?  Tough shit, pussies.  Torture?  I say torture the whole fucking Afghanistan nation.  And Pakistan too.  Then, sink the ships.  It’s a fucking war.  An all out free fire zone.  Our boys are dying over there.  You expect them to take that shit?

Anyway, you peace fucks are gonna screw them all over when they come back home, just like you did me and my buddies.  So, they might as well go on full auto over there and git some.  As long as it’s all covered up, and as long as you don’t want to hear about it, and as long as all of you want to pretend you’re better than us while you go on electing asshole shits like Obama and then act like you NEVER HEARD of Afghanistan.  Like you never heard of Vietnam back when.  There it is.

If me and my buddies weren’t so old and fucked-up, we’d go over there and give our boys some pointers.  Maybe when they come back, if it’s soon enough, me and my buddies and them can get together.  You know, form like a club.  What would you fuckers think of that?  I mean, you can sort of get to like it.  You know, killing.  And it doesn’t matter who you kill really.  I mean, you’re all just a bunch of goddamn gooks and slopes and dinks too.  Right?  Yeah, full auto.  And the women…  Maybe you fuckers should stop whining about those drones.  You may need them someday.  Right over here.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

 

Boston–Vt. State Police Alert–Scream & Point

Thanks to Ed Garcia (kestrel) on FACEBOOK for posting the Vermont State Police press release of 4/19/13 warning Vermonters to report ‘suspicious’ activity that might relate to events in Boston.  Apparently the State Police that morning got a call about a Boston area taxi driving ‘suspiciously’ in the passing lane of I-89 at 45 mph.  When stopped, it was found the cab carried no terrorists.  “Whew.”  BUT, we must still maintain our ‘unique’ Vermont vigilance, for the everyday activities of all of us Vermonters are constantly suspect, being as how we’re all Radicals, Gays, Gun Nutters, Tree-Huggers, and all belong to that Great Vermont Yard-Sale Underground Movement.  Also, my thanks to those two great movies, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (both versions) and BRAZIL.

  BE ON THE LOOK-OUT



…for suspicious types.  For cars with Massachusetts’ license plates.  For cars with ANY out-of-state plates.  For people with accents, and funny clothes, and backpacks.  Be on the look-out for people wearing Boston Red Sox and Boston Celtics T-shirts and caps.  Keep a close eye on the white line in the center of the road.  Report any person or persons using the words Do It Now! on their cell phones.  Report any person asking you for directions.  Or for the time.  Keep alert when you walk into town in the morning, and if a suspicious person says to you Hi. Isn’t it a nice day?–report that person immediately.

This is an Orange Alert!  Call 911 or 1-900-6969 with any information you think the authorities need to know.  



Beware of people who are smiling, and note any and all changes in behavior of your family, friends, neighbors, store clerks, librarians, restaurant and bar staff, school children, animals, and the weather.  Avoid big crowds, and small crowds.  Look both ways before getting out of bed.  Do not sign any petitions.  Do not give money to causes, charities, or the homeless.  If anyone, even someone close to you, even someone you are having sex with at the moment, utters words or exclamations that seem inappropriate, immediately run out into the middle of the street and scream while pointing your finger in that person’s direction to assist us in securing the perimeter.  If you enter a room or an establishment where people suddenly cease talking when you enter, leave immediately and contact the nearest authorities.  Report all suspicious electronic posts, including those from all social media outlets and your own e-mails.  Do not delete your e-mails, including the spam, as you may be destroying vital information important to our National Security.  If you feel you are being followed on the street by someone who is walking too close behind you, scream and point.  Boil your drinking water.  And your bath water.  Do not eat or buy kale, and do not drink 2% milk.  

Report any and all strange smells and noises.  Do not pick up money off the street.  Lock your home and car doors and any and all other doors you come across in your day that are not locked.  Make a list of people you remember from the last ten years who have offered you advice, and report them.  When you see a disabled person walking too slow, scream and point.  Scream and point at ANY person walking too slow, or standing still for too long.  Anyone you see putting up any kind of posters should be immediately reported, after you scream and point.  If someone screams and points at you, scream and point back, and then run to the nearest authorities.  Or into the nearest traffic.  And be especially on the look-out for any and all and close-enough suspicious types who are sitting on benches pretending to read books.  Report them immediately.  

Scream and point at anyone smoking a cigarette, a cigar, and especially a pipe.  Scream louder and point harder if they are smoking while carrying a backpack and walking a dog.  Do not feed the ducks or the pigeons.  Do not pay cash for anything, and memorize and report any and all store signs that advertise any kind of sale or discount.  When driving, do not pass anyone, and do not allow anyone to pass you.  Honk and point and then scream, honk, and point at anyone or anything that inhibits the flow of traffic, including any red lights you think are behaving too slow, but not at people who have run out into the traffic screaming and pointing, unless they are screaming and pointing at you, in which case, you should pull over, get out of your car and lock it, and turn them AND yourself in to the nearest authorities.  Do not eat lunch at your regular lunchtime, but rotate your lunches for your safety and the overall safety of the nation.  

Do not go out at night to plays, only to movies.  It is permissible for you to scream FIRE! and point in the movie theater if you see someone or something suspect.  Write down anything your boss says or does at work that seems strange, annoying, or inconvenient to you in your pursuit of suspicious activities, and then report it all to the authorities.  Do not lend matches to anyone, even, and especially, if they are dying.  Avoid any and all people displaying colored hair, tattoos, shaved heads, body piercings, and lewd and suggestive body and finger language.  You do not need to scream and point at them, as they themselves may be the authorities.  And, if so, they are probably armed.  And dangerous.

Remember:  BE ON THE LOOK-OUT.  REPORT.  SCREAM AND POINT.

This Orange Alert is in effect until further notice.  Do not discuss it with anyone.  And avoid acting suspiciously or thinking suspicious thoughts.

Thank You.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(“AaaaAAAYYaaaahhh…EEEK!”  Scream and Point.  Kind of reminds me of that VIGIL shit from after George Bush’s re-election in 2004–Smile and Wave.)    

Castro To Visit Vermont–Republicans Go Ballistic

Breaking News…GMD…30 seconds ago…

Yes, it’s true.  An aging Fidel Castro announced today he wishes to see, what he called, “…the most socialist, yet yuppified and Gay state in the USA…Vermont!”

Castro explained:  “I’m going to die soon, so I want to see this Fall Foliage stuff, and maybe take a Winter horse-drawn sleigh ride in Stowe.  Comrade Colby has invited me up for September through January.  And I’m going.  Everything with the Comrades here is under control, and I want to see if I can learn some things about this whole Gay Movement, which we’ve been behind with in Cuba.  I’m going to Vermont.  Nobody is going to stop me.  

“In September, I will go bass fishing with Comrade Buknatski, and in October, I will watch the leaves turn RED.  I will go to the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier and drink good beer with Comrade Hamilton, and ask him if this Bernie Sanders can be trusted with his one man crusade against Wall Street and his attempts to single-handedly lift the American embargo on Cuba.

“I wish to ‘hang-out’ at the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington, and go to the Dowsers Convention in Danville.  And find out if it is true that this other place in Montpelier, Charlie Os, actually serves Cuban Rum disguised in Bacardi bottles.

“And, in November, I want to go Catamount hunting with this rich asshole Governor they have there, Peter Shumlin, and try to understand why Vermonters elected him instead of Comrade Diamondstone.  

“I wish to learn much, and return to Cuba with a pledge of investments for a Three Penny Taproom in Havana, and for all natural and organic Cuban Rum made from Hemp.  Did you know that we here in Cuba make everything from Hemp?  Even our Birth Control.  We also use Hemp to run our Internet here so that we don’t have to pay for Socialist Networking.

“I also plan in September a quick weekend trip to Boston to watch the Red Sox get beaten by the Yankees, or whatever team is in Boston then.  And I will be in the fields of Vermont come Harvest Season, picking Kale with my south-of-the-American-border Comrades, who will then, hopefully, be able to drive me to one of these Fish Concerts in Vermont without the Police State stopping us on the road and asking to see my papers.  I will take Comrade Buknatski along so he can explain to me how these Vermont bass and other fish got to be so musical.

“Because we don’t have skiing in Cuba because we have no snow, I will bring along my surfboard.  Also a skateboard.  And yes, also I plan on ‘borrowing’ many American Cigarettes, while not passing out any Cuban Cigars.  I will also partake of this Vigiling they do in Vermont for everything, and play the bongos in a surprise appearance with Abby Jenne & The Enablers.

“Over Christmas, I will help this Bill Doyle with his Town Meeting Poll for next March, to give it a hipper, more Revolutionary list of questions, such as: ‘Do you think Vermont should secede from the Union and form an International Workers’ CO-OP and Peoples’ Nirvana with Cuba, Venezuela, Jamaica, and Seattle?’.  I also plan to do much relaxing indoors, as I understand the weather up in Vermont mostly sucks.

“That is all I have to say at this time.  I will see you later.  Perhaps at that Grand Opera House they have in Barre.

“Oh, and one more thing.  To let you know, I originally thought that the Carters who were coming to Cuba were Jimmy and Rosalynn.  It was to my surprise that they were black people and turned out to be this Beyonce celebrity and a hip-hop sports promoter named Jay-Z.  But it turned out good for us, as this Mr. Z said he will work on getting our Havana baseball team into the American Major Leagues.  Thank you.  And thank all you American Comrades for Baseball and drinking Cuban Rum.”

However, leading Republicans have called Castro’s planned visit to Vermont a violation of America’s long standing boycott on all things Cuban, and an attempt, with the help of the entire State of Vermont, to finalize President Obama’s “socialist coup.”

Senator Millard Pissant of Florida said that Castro’s visit will include the delivering of President Obama’s “real birth certificate” that will show, Pissant said, “that Barack Obama was born on a hillside camp in the Sierra Maestra, just like in that great movie, The Manchurian Candidate.  I therefore call on all Americans,” Pissant continued, “to help us in impeaching this RAPING of our American Way Of Life!  What started with Desi Arnaz and I Love Lucy has now become Ba-Ba-Loo Bama and I Love Vermont.  Monstrous.  Unbelievable.  I mean totally…RAPACIOUS!”

This story will be updated here once we hear from Michael Colby in Walden, who, we understand, is now busy ‘networking’ with, as he calls them, a bunch of Lib-er-al Fucks who want to know how much Colby will charge them to have their pictures taken with Castro in the horse-drawn sleigh and then posted on FACEBOOK.

We now return you to your Social Networking…….

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

Castro To Visit Vermont–Republicans Go Ballistic

Breaking News…GMD…30 seconds ago…

Yes, It’s true.  An aging Fidel Castro announced today he wishes to see, what he called, “…the most socialist, yet yuppified and Gay state in the USA…Vermont!”

Castro explained:  “I’m going to die soon, so I want to see this Fall Foliage stuff, and maybe take a Winter horse-drawn sleigh ride in Stowe.  Comrade Colby has invited me up for September through January.  And I’m going.  Everything with the Comrades here is under control, and I want to see if I can learn some things about this whole Gay Movement, which we’ve been behind with in Cuba.  I’m going to Vermont.  Nobody is going to stop me.  

“In September, I will go bass fishing with Comrade Buknatski, and in October, I will watch the leaves turn RED.  I will go to the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier and drink good beer with Comrade Hamilton, and ask him if this Bernie Sanders can be trusted with his one man crusade against Wall Street and his attempts to single-handedly lift the American embargo on Cuba.

“I wish to ‘hang-out’ at the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington, and go to the Dowsers Convention in Danville.  And find out if it is true that this other place in Montpelier, Charlie Os, actually serves Cuban Rum disguised in Bacardi bottles.

“And, in November, I want to go Catamount hunting with with this rich asshole Governor they have there, Peter Shumlin, and try to understand why Vermonters elected him instead of Comrade Diamondstone.  

“I wish to learn much, and return to Cuba with a pledge of investments for a Three Penny Taproom in Havana, and for all natural and organic Cuban Rum made from Hemp.  Did you know that we here in Cuba make everything from Hemp?  Even our Birth Control.  We also use Hemp to run our Internet here so that we don’t have to pay for Socialist Networking.

“I also plan in September a quick weekend trip to Boston to watch the Red Sox get beaten by the Yankees, or whatever team is in Boston then.  And I will be in the fields of Vermont come Harvest Season, picking Kale with my south-of-the-American-border Comrades, who will then, hopefully, be able to drive me to one of these Fish Concerts in Vermont without the Police State stopping us on the road and asking to see my papers.  I will take Comrade Buknatski along so he can explain to me how these Vermont bass and other fish got to be so musical.

“Because we don’t have skiing in Cuba because we have no snow, I will bring along my surfboard.  Also a skateboard.  And yes, also I plan on ‘borrowing’ many American Cigarettes, while not passing out any Cuban Cigars.  I will also partake of this Vigiling they do in Vermont for everything, and play the bongos in a surprise appearance with Abby Jenne & The Enablers.

“Over Christmas, I will help this Bill Doyle with his Town Meeting Poll for next March, to give it a hipper, more Revolutionary list of questions, such as: ‘Do you think Vermont should secede from the Union and form an International Workers’ CO-OP and Peoples’ Nirvana with Cuba, Venezuela, Jamaica, and Seattle?’.  I also plan to do much relaxing indoors, as I understand the weather up in Vermont mostly sucks.

“That is all I have to say at this time.  I will see you later.  Perhaps at that Grand Opera House they have in Barre.

“Oh, and one more thing.  To let you know, I originally thought that the Carters who were coming to Cuba were Jimmy and Rosalynn.  It was to my surprise that they were black people and turned out to be this Beyonce celebrity and a hip-hop sports promoter named Jay-Z.  But it turned out good for us, as this Mr. Z said he will work on getting our Havana baseball team into the American Major Leagues.  Thank you.  And thank all you American Comrades for Baseball and drinking Cuban Rum.”

However, leading Republicans have called Castro’s planned visit to Vermont a violation of America’s long standing boycott on all things Cuban, and an attempt, with the help of the entire State of Vermont, to finalize President Obama’s “socialist coup.”

Senator Millard Pissant of Florida said that Castro’s visit will include the delivering of President Obama’s “real birth certificate” that will show, Pissant said, “that Barack Obama was born on a hillside camp in the Sierra Maestra, just like in that great movie, The Manchurian Candidate.  I therefore call on all Americans,” Pissant continued, “to help us in impeaching this RAPING of our American Way Of Life!  What started with Desi Arnaz and I Love Lucy has now become Ba-Ba-Loo Bama and I Love Vermont.  Monstrous.  Unbelievable.  I mean totally…RAPACIOUS!”

This story will be updated here once we hear from Michael Colby in Walden, who, we understand, is now busy ‘networking’ with, as he calls them, a bunch of Lib-er-al Fucks who want to know how much Colby will charge them to have their pictures taken with Castro in the horse-drawn sleigh and then posted on FACEBOOK.

We now return you to your Social Networking…….

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

Animal Poem (cause People Suck!)

I am becoming inclined to write all my stuff about and for animals.  And talk to them.  Speak their language, and maybe save my rancid human ass, or, at least, my soul.  People suck!

WHAT THE BEASTS KNOW ABOUT THE DINOSAURS

The birds and the beasts and the fishes

in the sea shake their heads, flap their

wings and fins, and just give up.  Hoping

against hope to just survive another season

in which predators, driven to strip all riches

and life from the ground and the waters,

dump the scat of money made from oil spills

and radiation and war ever closer to home.

The animals move away from crime, but

it follows them into new neighborhoods

and soon they must all move on again,

and fewer and fewer of them each time.

Waiting for the day the Almighty Spirit sends

its great stone crashing down from the sky,

ridding for once and all time the entire earth

of a species that never found its own purpose.

Oh yes, the birds and the beasts and the fishes

in the sea will say, yes now we can start all over.

And if this time one tiny out of place untoward

nameless thing oozes up out of the waters,

we will kill it quickly, and give our little babies

its deadness to feast upon, hoping they know

better than to eat the parts that will kill them.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, VT  

Shelly Frey On Gun Control (for kestrel)

If I’d had a gun on me, I swear

I would have shot that Sonofabitch

Back before I died–shot him dead.

Then you’d fucking remember me.

And, oh boy, I’d make it for money

That I’d be the black whacko with a gun,

And all the stories would be about

The Sonofabitch and his kids and his pets.

You’d make that dirty lowlife Sonofabitch

A fucking hero, and babble on about

How certain people, yeah, certain people

Shouldn’t have guns, and fucking crime.

How’s come cops and security guards

Get to mow down people and nobody

Says shit?  And our fucking Army

In Afghanistan?  Talk about children.

It makes me fucking sick how you

Whine about violence all the time

While you fucking create more of it.

And I’m not even the Reverend King.

Remember him?

Yeah, if he were alive today some psycho

Sonofabitch Security Guard would get him.

And then you’d what?  Hold a fucking vigil?

Goddamn all you white lazy assholes!

Gun control?  You can’t even control

Your own fucking opinion on anything

Without some Liberal or some Nazi

Making you be oh so fucking polite about it.

Is it polite what’s going on right now

In Afghanistan?  Is it okay that every time

A black or hispanic person is gunned down

Some Sonofabitch on Wall Street makes money?

I guess then all this fucking silence about me

Is you being polite cause you’re afraid

The sonsofbitches might shoot you too

If you don’t kiss their rich white assholes.

It makes me sick up here looking down

And seeing you let them murder us again.

Your fucking white cops and security guards

With all their fucking guns and that’s okay?

Shit.  You go on then and piss away what’s left

Of the freedoms my people fought for.

And you take away everybody’s guns and give them

A fucking candle for the sonsofbitches to aim at.

Illegal aliens and guns and fucking war.

With your politicians who mouth off about justice

And the economy so you’ll feel better

The next time they kill someone like me.

Someday some sonofabitch will be in your backyard

Pointing a gun at your little kid’s head,

And when you call 911 for the police,

The operator will tell you that they’re already there.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(And I’m NOT going to stop until this atrocity from last December is addressed.)

 

WEEKEND UPDATE (with PeteySweety)

Hi, I’m PeteySweety and you’re not.

In the news today, two really big stories.  What’s that, Emily?  No, we’ll get to your commentary later.  This is Hard News, Emily.  In the news, North Korea’s…I heard that, Emily.  I am NOT a BITCH.  Be quiet.  North Korea’s High Commissar of Political Correctness said his nation now has yet another reason to Nuke us.  Generalissimo Dim Dim Bulb said recent statements by Rush Limbaugh about what real marriage is are counter-revolutionary and an insult and attack upon the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea–gotta pick my nose here a minute, folks…ah…there–and that the DPRK will take the appropriate action.  Bulb said Limbaugh’s recent comment about real marriage having lost its true definition and that Gay Marriage is “inevitable” is inflammatory and war mongering, because, according to Bulb: “Everyone knows that real marriage is between a Comrade and the State, except fat American pig who have sex with running dog.”  Gotta pick my nose again here, folks…excuse me…boy, look at that one…Anyway, Mr. Bulb added some more Marxist-Leninist stuff–which I don’t understand…do you?…and then he said North Korea has set aside a specific nuclear missile for Limbaugh the next time Limbaugh visits San Francisco to speak at an AIDS fundraising event.  “AIDS,” said Dimy, “is something we do not have in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea because sex with the state is in its purest form.  We have sex with the State and the State bites off our head.  This is why we are strong in our commitment to end all life on earth and declare a Communist victory.”   When Mr. Bulby was asked by a Polish correspondent how many comrades it took to screw him in, Dim-Boy left the press conference abruptly saying he had to go check on his missiles to make sure comrades remembered to put in the batteries and light the wood stoves.

Boy…In other news…not yet, Emily…we’re getting there…in other news, COMCAST announced today that, after the Supreme Court repeals the Voting Rights Act, it will offer a  comprehensive Electronic Voting package to every American consumer.  It will include Voting Channels on home TVs, home computers, cell phones, automobiles, jogging meters, and WalMart shopping carts.  Comcast said that it will ask Congress to make COMCAST the number one source of balloting in America, and authorize it to collect fees from each and every COMCAST customer to, and I quote here: “pay for the vote.”  COMCAST said it will also ask Congress for the authority to disconnect each and every voter who does not keep up with his or her monthly contract payments as defined in the fine print or by service reps in Calcutta.  And for low income and minority COMCAST customers, COMCAST will offer a “special discount package” which will enable those low income and minority customers to “watch the rest of America vote.”  COMCAST said Americans should all expect an “information mailing” on this to begin next week and continue daily indefinitely.

Boy, I can hardly wait for that.  How ’bout you?

Okay…Emily…EMILY!…you’re on now.

Thanks, PeepingPetey, and I just…

That’s PETEY-SWEETY, Emily…I told you that before.  More than once.

Okay.  Petey…Sleazy…whatever…Today, I just want to say to everybody, what’s all this stuff I hear about everybody getting their news off of Bogsites?  In the Pine Barrens in New Jersey, where I grew up, we had bogs all over the place, and some of them had cranberries, and some of them all kinds of stuff, and some of that stuff was disgusting stuff like the stuff Peepers here just picked outta his nose.  I mean bogs had mosquitoes and sometimes wild boars, and we had to run when we were little kids for our lives because you don’t want no bog monster to get you and bite off your little pinky fingers and toes, and we yelled “Moma! Daddy!  Save Us!”  and our parents said we should stay away from the bogs and then they hit us with a Pine Barren tree, but now I hear people are going to bogs to get their news and do this stuff called social networking, and I don’t think they should be hanging around the bogs at all because of the mosquitoes and the monsters and the trolls, but now I hear they’re doing this stuff on these bogs, and I’m wondering how disgusting this country is coming to if people go to bogs all the time to…

Emily…EMILY…

Whaat?

Emily.  That’s blogs.  Blogsites.  Not bogs.  Blogs.  Blogsites are on the computers, not in the Pine Barrens.  It’s electronic communication.  Like what we’re doing now.

BLOGS?

That’s right, Emily.

Oh.  Never mind.  But now what’s all this stuff I hear about these crazy Republicans going out and raping and then bringing it up all the time on TV and on…on those…blog sites?…I mean………….

AND THAT’S THE NEWS

Have a Great April 1st!

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

Shelly Frey Says SHAME!

I would never have fucking believed it!

If a white lady got shot and killed

by a WalMart Security Guard for shoplifting,

you can bet I’d have raised Hell along with you.

But last December

THREE FRIGGING MONTHS AGO!

they murdered me and I haven’t seen shit

in the news or on the Net or on the blogs

about my story!

SHAME on all of you!

You who say you are liberal and stand for things,

and all of the rest of you who just don’t give a shit.

You let them get away with it!

Well, I’ll tell you all something now.

From where I’m sitting I can see what’s coming.

You’re all going to pay for it down the line,

cause it’s going to happen to you too.

And when it does you just fucking remember

that you had a chance to do something,

but another fucking black person just didn’t matter.  

Did it?!

Next you’re going to let them repeal the Voting Rights Act.

Just so much more black shit, right?

And here we were all of us supposed to be human beings

and neighbors and friends and mothers and fathers

and sons and daughters, all of us in it together

with the rest of the poor suffering people in the world.

But I guess not.

I guess it’s just who is the least important to some money bullshit

that gets it first, and then it goes on up the line

til finally it gets to you or your kid, and when it does

and you pick up the paper or watch the TV news

expecting some kind of outrage, ain’t you in for a surprise!

Well, FUCK YOU!  I’ll be up here laughing at you knowing

where you all are headed cause up here there’s some kind of justice,

and they won’t be letting you in to fuck it all up.

THREE FUCKING MONTHS and not a peep out of any of you!

What the fuck in bloody Hell are you waiting for?

The next 4am sale?

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Happy Spring, people!)