(Now, Today’s Seven Days Fair Game column has even more on Sorrell’s high-rolling campaign fundraising (as Conficts Of Interest).  READ IT, Little DEMS!  And Shumlin is going to appoint a special counsel to investigate the corrupt little SOB.  FINALLY!  Your Gov decided, I guess, that he couldn’t avoid all the questions Seven Days has brought up, not in his position now of being highly unpopular himself.  We shall see.  Hopefully, not a whitewash.  I’m very pleased, however.  Now, I hope they consider that all Sorrell’s highrolling out-of-state campaign fundraising could be linked to the HEROIN problem that has grown in Vermont under his watch.  An AG who spends so much time going on out-of-state junkets to connect with campaign donors obviously is not too concerned about REAL CRIME right here in Vermont.  Hell, he’s too busy committing crime himself.  Thank you Paul Heintz and Seven Days!  And WHAT, if anything, do you little Dems have to say?  You’ve been so quiet these last five weeks, except for Jack sort of ‘apologizing’ for Sorrell.  What?  Need the corrupt AG to be a Republican?  Maybe Sorrell should switch parties.  Maybe soon, we’ll wind up with a Republican Ag.)

Last week’s post:

Today’s Seven Days (April 22) goes after Sorrell on three fronts.  Paul Heintz again in Fair Game (4 weeks in a row, way to go, Paul!).  An editorial piece.  And me, just your average Vermont citizen calling in my Letter To The Editor for a U.S. Justice department investigation of Sorrell.  (call Eugenia Cowles, U.S. Attorney in Burlington)

Now, according to Seven Days, and Sorrell himself, there is no way Sorrell is going to be investigated by an independent counsel in Vermont about his conflicts of interest as regards his own campaign financing.  (However, Dean Corren–that was a ‘righteous’ investigation)  And there is no other state department that has authority to investigate him.  Sorrell, it seems, can only be investigated by himself–the Vermont AG’s office.  And he isn’t going to do that.  Nor, as he says, “waste taxpayer money” on an independent counsel investigation of the amount of his campaign contributions over the years and how he got them.  It’s all right to waste 5 month’s of AG office time and expenses to squeeze Corren for $72,000.  5 months of AG office time and expenses?  How much do you think was spent?  More than $72,000, I’d wager.  While Shumlin is cutting state benefits, threatening state worker layoffs, and trying to eliminate the tax deductions for small charitable donations.  (Apparently we will see only the RICH, who can donate $5000 or more getting the tax break here.  Once again, tax breaks for the Rich.)

Speaking of RICH, Shumlin, who’s empowered to appoint a independent counsel over Sorrell’s head, says he’s too busy with his ‘legislative agenda’. (screwing the poor, the working poor, the working class, and any one else who’s not able to fork over $5000 to him or Sorrell)  These guys are really getting a lock on old fashioned Southern State corruption and lawbending.  Where are the Dukes Of Hazard when ya need ’em?

I, myself, called for a U.S. Justice department investigation of Sorrell focusing on the Heroin pipeline through Vermont that has come to pass under his tenure.  Also, Human Trafficking.  The Drug and Slave cartels must know Vermont is safe passage.   Perhaps they also donate to his on-going re-election.

Huey Long and J. Edgar Hoover.  What a pair.  But Sorrell is going to go down first, I believe.  He’s already digging his hole with his replies to the questions being asked, and Shumlin is not going to stick his neck out for him, not in his current position.

So, the HEAT must be kept up on Sorrell, now that the fires have been lit.  He’s really bad news.  He always liked to say he couldn’t do anything to help immigrant workers get their last paychecks upon being deported because it was federal.

Well, Bill, you corruption of law and justice, I think you’re federal now.  Twist, you bastard!  And keep it up, Seven Days.

I’m Peter Buknatski and I approve this message.

Montpelier, Vt.

 

When you cut them open

you cannot find

where this unconditional

love comes from.

We have even tried

torture but they will not

give up their secrets.

Yet we know it is there.

A product for enormous profit.

You can see it in their eyes

when you tie them down.

So far all we have are scents

and fashion statements.

We need more government funds.

Imagine what we could do

with this power in their eyes?

We would be like gods,

a science from the heavens.

The fools who picket our lab

do not understand

what we are up against.

Our enemies are working too.

Whole species have disappeared.

Our time is running out.

You can see it in their eyes.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

the planet is dying

no health fixes for it

at the co-ops or online

it’s a prognosis

that can’t be

reversed

yes we will die with it

as it should be

for now however

we have a chance

to save some plants

and insects and birds

and beasts

have a quality of life

before the bitter end

the plants and bugs

and beasts are necessary

who would want to live

without them?

why can’t we care about

what we can do now?

even the goddamn activists

are in on it  

obsessing on Global Warming

while hundreds of species

disappear forever

and they and we don’t

seem to give a living shit

except for our health

our health

our bloody fucking health

it is shameful that we will

let die and disappear

the very things that make

life worth living

all for a few more centuries(?)

to still do nothing more

than curse Mother Nature

for betraying us so?

so goodbye birds and beasts

hit the road you leatherbacks

we must save ourselves

we will not give up

buying one single product

for the freeness

of a butterfly’s beauty

nor for the sweetness of a bird’s song

so die already  just fucking die

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Even the Audubon Society has now declared Global Warming the ‘major threat’ to birdlife.  What ‘lib-er-al’ Bullshit!  INDUSTRIAL WIND is a major threat to birdlife and to the habitat of other critters–animals don’t like noise.  But to hang on and ‘live forever’, we will forsake all that can be done now for the ‘scam’ that we can avoid the ‘inevitability’ of Global Warming.  People really SUCK.  We deserve our fate.  Hope some critters survive after we are all dead and rotting in Hell.–I’m Peter Buknatski and I approve this message.  

Also, for you lib-er-al Dems, I have begun making phone calls to the U.S. Justice Dept. and the FBI to see what’s involved in getting a ‘citizen’s complaint’ filed and an ‘investigation’ going on Bill Sorrell and his corruption and ‘enabling’ of the heroin/human trafficking’ pipeline through Vermont.  Also, I will pass his story onto several major newspapers and magazines.  It will make for a good story at least–THEN maybe, as Dylan once put it, “somebody ought to investigate soon.”)  

Yes, not content with wasting time and money on Dean Corren’s campaign contributions mis-step, our crusading crime fighting AG is now looking into ‘money laundering’ and campaign signs at  Vermont Yard Sales across the state.

Sorrell feels that, during election years, people with campaign signs up on their lawns while holding a Yard Sale may be secretly taking campaign contributions for their candidates amounting to tens of thousands of dollars, by doubling the prices of books, plates, lamps, litter boxes and other junk.

“A book or a litter box at a Yard Sale shouldn’t cost 50 cents,” said Sorrell.  “25 cents for a book or a litter box.  Where’s the other 25 cents going?  Well, I’m going to find out, no matter how much money and resources this office has to expend.”

When asked how he could justify this investigation on the heels of his ridiculous investigation of Dean Corren’s alleged campaign contributions mis-steps, what with the state bankrupt and Governor Shumlin and the legislature ripping off the poor and the working class, Sorrell replied:  

“This is crime, I’m talking about.  If I let this go, people will be holding Yard Sales to donate to the VSEA, and I think there’s a rule against that, though don’t ask me to cite it, because I have a staff for those questions.  And what about all the sugary sweet drinks I see people at Yard Sales sipping?  That encourages heroin use.  So you see, this investigation of Yard Sales may also lead us to the heart of the drug syndicate in Vermont.  No more questions.  I’ve got to get back to work.”

Yes.  And God knows what that work will reap next.  By the way, Bill, –2015 is not an election year.

WHAT A DOUCHE-BAG!

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(How’s come none of you Little Dems covered this last week?)

Breaking News…Just now…I mean, really…No shit…

According to a Facebook post, two New York City policemen with guns drawn confronted Bill Cosby who was dressed up as a woman about to enter a Manhattan lesbian bar.  Police did not shoot him.  Once he showed his ID, the two policemen asked for his autograph, and, according to the Facebook post, said things like:  “Love ya, Cos.” and “You’re The Man.”  and  “Yeah, get in there and straighten them dykes out, Cos.”

Also, according to Facebook, it is reported that young black males have been swamping costume stores and going on line looking for Cosby masks and Cosby outfits.  And that the Ferguson, Missouri PD has already issued a BOLO on this.

We will monitor Facebook for more on this developing story, which we will call:  “Are They All Rapists Or Are They Just Trying To Stay Alive?”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.  

This reporter has just learned through his ‘reliable source’ in the Statehouse Men’s Room that Governor Shumlin will soon announce he has found the money necessary to cover a budget shortfall.

“Yeah, Peter,”   my source said to me,  “he’s gonna do away with the entire Vermont State Police, since they haven’t done shit about the heroin pipeline through Vermont over the years.  But, get this, Peter…”

“What?”

“Shumlin made some contacts with these heroin cartels through Bill Sorrell.  Apparently they’re ready to cut the state in on some of the profits.  I think I heard him say 20%.  That’s a shitload of cash.  So, those VSEA people can quit bitchin’.”

“What about Sorrell?”  I asked.  “He’s totally worthless too.  Why not eliminate his job?”

“Peter, geez, ya dumb shit…who’s gonna be the go-between with the heroin boys?  Apparently, from what I heard, they like Sorrell.  And getting rid of the State Cops, well…that will keep things smooth.  And if things get out of hand, why, the Gov can blame the VSEA for the whole situation, like he blamed the VSEA for IRENE.  Shummy’s one smart fucker.  That’s why he’s rich.”

“I don’t know, DeepShit,” (his code name cause we talk stall to stall)  “Seems like we’ll be open for some serious crime.”

“Crime?  Hell, what’s the difference between heroin money and taxing poor people on their sodas?  And what about all the rich Vermonters that don’t pay their fair share?  I heard Shummy was also going to appoint Peter Sterling to head up a group to find out how to tax heroin users on their habit.  And with more heroin users in Vermont, that’s more money for the state.  I tell ya, Peter, the guy’s gonna be President someday.”

“Shumlin?”

“Fucking A!  He can run in ’16, and tell those whining middle class Dems who want to dump him to go fuck themselves.  And then tax ’em.”

“Well, thanks, DeepShit.  I gotta go get this on the wire.”  (‘Flush’)

“Any time, Peter.  That’s what I’m here for.”  (‘Flush’)

So, VSEA.  Quit worrying.  Hell, heroin might mean more jobs too.  If it can be made sustainable.  

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.  

“Hey, Hey, Hey!  I really enjoyed putting it to you years ago.  Next time, let’s do it without the drugs in your drink.  Hey, Hey, Hey!”

“Do NOT ever contact me again!  I will report you to a certain person I know who takes care of troublesome people for me.  Remember Vince Foster?!”

“Hey, Hil, remember in ’64 when we were Goldwater Girls together?  Heh-heh.  If you get elected, can I get a job with you?”

“I’ll put you on my list.  We need more Goldwater Girls with balls to straighten out those assholes in Congress.  Do you know anything about drugging drinks?  In my heart, I know I’m right.  Heh-heh.  And remember:  Extremism in the defense of INTELLIGENCE is no vice.  That’s what I’m telling AP.”

“Yo, Blondie.  Ya gonna do some moves about all these white cops gunnin’ down the brothas?  Or are ya gonna be a Bitch like that Marcia Clark ho?  The Bama ain’t doin’ shit.  How bad ya want our votes?”

“Very bad.  I’ll make you and your Bros Special FBI Agents and Justice Department Investigators.  I want to be inclusive.  Can you and your Bros drug drinks in a drive-by?”

“Dear Undisclosed Recipient:  Your email ballbusting@hotmail.org is in process of being phished by us.  Please clicky-click below linky to pay us to stop.  Thanky you.”

“You dirty male pig Chinese hackers!  You wait!  In 2017 I’ll be coming to Beijing to make a big speech about Women’s Rights, like I did at the World Conference On Women in ’95.  Then, with bazillions of Chinese women reading my little red book, Quotations From President Hillary, and rampaging around in a new Cultural Revolution, all you male pig bastards will have to move to Vermont and open up Chinese restaurants.  Then I’ll appoint Peter Sterling my Health Food Czar and he’ll tax all your asses until the U.S. recovers that 7.4% of our national debt you bastards have bought.  You wait!”

“Hi.  I’m a 26 year-old woman who wants to be President too someday.  Can you help me?”

“Well, I would suggest you first marry a guy who’ll become President some day.  Then, when he’s discovered having had illicit sex with White House aides, claim they put drugs in his drinks and move to Vermont and run for the U.S. Senate.  If that asshole Bernie Sanders is still alive, put drugs in his water at the debates.  But if you don’t go that way, and I’m elected in 2016, don’t fuck with my third term!”

“How do you stand it?  I mean, like gross–All this Benghazi stuff.  And I gotta know, and tell my friends–Do you buy your own outfits?”

“Bill buys all my outfits for me.  It’s what I gave him to do.  He has to do something, and he likes ladies clothing stores.  Benghazi?  Was that something on Facebook?”

“Madame Clinton–We the people of the Islamic No-Sense-Of-Humor Brotherhood respectfully ask you how you stand on cartoons poking fun at Allah?”

“I AM Allah.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, VT.

WELCOME TO YUPPIEWORLD

(SMOKE-FREE, PANHANDLER-FREE!!!)

Yes, friends, it’s finally here!  Thanks to Montpelier Alive and a special grant approved by Gov. Shumlin, Montpelier is pleased to host the long awaited Theme Park that has been in the works since 1986, the year when the fruits of the Great Yuppie Migration from New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut began to ripen  and change Vermont’s drab and backward environment and sociology.  When we saw literally hundreds and hundreds of the ‘new enlightened’ Vermonters take control of Zoning Boards, Planning Commissions, School Boards, Select Boards, and City Councils, and then begin their work in the State Legislature, and in non-profit groups, and in federally funded agencies for the poor, the elderly, the disabled, the migrant workers, the homeless, and, yes, don’t forget, the Farmers.  Due to the changing complexion of our state that these ‘new’ Vermonters brought about, they have been networking for years to make Vermont the very first state in the nation to celebrate YuppieNess in all its forms.  And now we have a very special place where Yuppies from Vermont and all over the nation can come to fest in the wonders of an enriched lifestyle–YuppieWorld!!!

YuppieWorld has electric bumper cars and the Windmill Whip for the kiddies!  Expensive wine, cheese, and Ben & Jerry’s new fat-free, taste-free Yuppie Yogurt!!  Expert speakers and displays on Meditation, Weight Loss, Buddhism, Global Warming, Power & Control, Single Payer Auto-Health Care Coverage For Your SUVs, Real Estate (with emphases on your neighbor’s property and the farmer’s down the road), Fashion, Micro-brews and Micro-management, Investments, and information on how and where you can get the latest Yuppie Vaccinations and sign-up for Yuppie Vaccinations Of The Future!!  And dozens of mini-venues where you can buy and buy and buy!–Yuppie Clothes, Yuppie Self-Help Books, Yuppie Plants, and even Yuppie Pets!!!

No smoking and no panhandling will be permitted at YuppieWorld.  A Security Team armed with tazers and ‘lowlife alarms’ (similar to car alarms) will see to it that no ‘unseemly’ people gain entrance to YuppieWorld.  

And NO POLITICS at YuppieWorld!  The emphasis will be on YOU and how IMPORTANT a person YOU ARE!!  Vermont’s new non-profit group, Health, Safety, Security, Appearances & Acquirement, run by Peter Sterling (his own creation, God love him!), will have a table allowing you to ‘feel good’ by making generous donations to ‘sustain and diversify’ YuppieNess here and across the nation.

YuppieWorld is located on the former site of the Pioneer Apartments.  We tore them down!  And had the riff-raff there hit the road to Hardwick.  Hey, no more P-Word, right?!  And, better still, admission to YuppieWorld is $40!  No chance of working class losers shelling that much out.

To kick-off YuppieWorld’s Grand Opening, Peter Sterling will give a talk on the ins and outs of creating your own government funded non-profit groups whose missions will be to lobby for new taxes on every single product used by the poor, the elderly, the disabled, and the working class, and then use that tax money to fund YOUR Single Payer Health Care, YOUR Co-op memberships, YOUR downtown parking tickets, YOUR health club fees, and YOUR STRESS!!  That way, according to Sterling, all revenues from YuppieWorld can be used to further YuppieNess in Vermont and across the nation.  And make YuppieNess Renewable!!!  Ain’t that Cool and Slick?  A big Okey-Dokey to Peter!!  Also, at YuppieWorld’s Grand Opening, Governor Shumlin will be on hand to give you tips on how to make real estate killings almost right in your own backyard!!!

Also on hand at the Grand Opening of YuppieWorld will be Special Notable Yuppies from all over the state–the most ‘quality’ parts of the state, like Stowe and Burlington.  A list of special ‘celebrity‘ Vermont Yuppies to appear at YuppieWorld is now being prepared by the staff of Seven Days, and, if many are ‘too busy’ because they’re ‘too important’ to make the Grand Opening, they will, no doubt, be able to make appearances later on, after they check their calendars for days when they have no lunch meetings scheduled.

This Is Going To Be SO AWESOME!!!

So Be There For The Grand Opening Of YuppieWorld!  Network, Buy Things!!  And PARTY!!!

(This ad has been paid for by Article 19 on the upcoming Montpelier Town Meeting Ballot.)

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Yes, folks, as with mandatory vaccinations, I’m becoming suspect of Global Warming.  Scientists are funded by Corporations and Foundations supported by Corporations.  Disaster Economics means it is in the interest of Corporations and the Rich to create a ‘scare’ (distraction), which will also be a money maker while they continue to plunder in the old fashioned time-honored way, and I’m afraid many Environmental Groups and Environmentalists have fallen for a ‘marketing plan’.  I think we should be more worried about NUCLEAR WINTER.  Well, here’s something ‘fun’ on the subject.)

SOME VERMONT YUPPIE ANGSTS ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING

Health & Safety–Will Global Warming release new viruses and make more killer insects and make my Health Club fees go up?  Will there be a vaccine for Global Warming?  Will Global Warming make me have to stop using my cell phone while driving my SUV?

Property–Will Global Warming make all my plants die and make it impossible for me to tell where to buy a beachfront second home?

War & Peace–Will there be Weather Wars?  Will Global warming ruin my vacation plans to visit Guetemala, Greece, Sri Lanka and other countries because they all hate Americans for Global Warming and want to kill me personally?

Crime–Will Global Warming cause blacks and other certain ethnic diversities to drive by my home with automatic assault rifles?  Can they be vaccinated?  (See Property)

Food–Will Global Warming make crops die and I will, therefore, have to eat Genetically Engineered Kale?

Activism–Will Brian Tokar, Peter Sterling, Joe Gainza, Thom Hartman, and Bernie Sanders be enough to stop people from New Jersey (where I’m from) moving up here to Vermont because it’s 10% cooler…in Winter?



Second-Hand Smoke–Will Global Warming create a layer of cigarette smoke in the atmosphere that will cause people to become addicted to cigarettes, and then to Heroin?  And then to sugary-sweet drinks?  (See Health & Safety)  

My Children–Will my kids call me a Yuppie Scumbag Pig for letting Global Warming happen, and then beat me senseless and take off with all my cash and credit cards and my SUV?  (See Property again)

Sex–Will Global Warming make it too hot for sex?  Even for Bill Cosby?  Will there be a vaccine you can take for orgasms?  Or a non-sugary-sweet drink?



Social Media–Will Global Warming cause my computer to freeze or glitch while I’m trying to post a You Tube video on Green Mountain Daily that shows Jennifer Aniston flashing her snatch in her short short mini-gown at the fundraiser for the Ebola Victims Verses Aids Victims Cross Country Marathon And Spitathon?  (See Sex)

Paid Holidays, Paid Sick Days, and Mileage–Will I be able to take Global Warming Days off, and call in sick if the temperature is above 126%?  Will I have to not drive my SUV on certain designated work days, and, if so, how will I get my mileage for those days?



How To Tell It’s Global Warming–If Global Warming happens next week, will there still be air conditioning at the Co-op?  Will Thom Hartman, Brian Tokar, and Joe Gainza go on the radio to announce marches and rallies against Global Warming?  And will Bernie Sanders say he’s not running in 2016 because by then we’ll all be dead?  (See Food, War & Peace, Health & Safety, Crime, and Sex)

Security and Sustainability–Will the police protect me from Global Warming?  Can’t they just shoot it?  And where do I buy Global Warming-Free wine?  (See Crime and Property again)  

Fashion–Will Global Warming make me have to Yard Sale my entire wardrobe and buy the latest Global Warming outfits every 3 or 4 days?  Will I be able to do this online with my air conditioner on MAX? (Property)  

What Can I Do And We Do To Stop Global Warming?–Will Vigils stop Global Warming?  Petitions?  Meetings?  Workshops?  Cocktails at Three Penny Taproom?  Secret visits in disguise to Charlie Os World Famous to see how many there are cigarette smokers?  A third non-profit group run by Peter Sterling?  A fourth?  Will a HUG stop Global Warming?  And bumper stickers on my SUV?  (See War & Peace, Second-Hand Smoke, Activism, Crime, and Property again)

Thank you for hearing my concerns.  Will petting a Mental Health Assistance and Companion Pet stop Global Warming?

Peter Buknatski

Monpelier, Vt.

(Coming next:  Montpelier’s New THEME PARK–YuppieWorld!)

Yes, once again we have a hip trendy catch-phrase every MORON in America will no doubt take up.  And T-Shirts and Bumper Stickers, sold by the very corporate ghouls who make terrorism and war.  There’s $$$ in I Am Charlie.

I Am Charlie really means:  “I Am Anti-Muslim, Anti-Black, Anti-Semite, Anti-Poor, Anti-Immigrant, Anti-Gay, Anti-Women, ANTI-WHOEVER!”

It also means:  “I Am Anti-Intelligence and ANTI-AMERICA!”

I Am Charlie–Yawn.  Pul-lease!  Stop The Nonsense!  When 9/11 happened there were many Americans who, instead of going batshit-patriotic, spoke up about addressing the causes of 9/11.  Well…what the Hell is happening to our little pea-brains?  Does critical thought cause STRESS now?  Not covered by Health Care?  Shit.  I Am YAHOO.  I Am MOB.  And yes–I Am SHEEP.

I’ll bet the radical Muslims in al-Qaeda are sitting around now making bombs and one of them is saying (ala Harry Dean Stanton in REPO MAN):  “You see that shit, man.  Those Dildo Dipshit Assholes!  Those people are hopeless.  They’ll never get it.  They want a fucking PAX CHRISTIANITY!  Shit.  Ordinary fucking Americans.  I hate ’em.  Hand me that piece of pipe.  Then we’ve got to get out of this bad area.”

Yes, I AM PISSED!  Just when I thought we couldn’t get any stupider…Maybe it’s that Global Warming shit.  

I Am Charlie is really going to help the cause.  And not of us or the Muslims.  The cause of $$$!  Shit.  Hey, you Muslims out there…HELLO???…I Am NOT LIKE THE OTHERS.

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.