This April 9th, it will be 35 years since we lost Phil Ochs, the best political folk singer of the sixties (much better than Dylan; Dylan not in his league).

In Montpelier this month, the Green Mountain Film Festival is featuring the film about Ochs: There But For Fortune.

To honor Phil, I am posting here one of my favorites by him: “Love Me, I’m A Liberal.”  This seems to be the appropriate blog for it.

(Hey Michael: Notice he didn’t entitle it, “Love Me, I’m A Liberal Fuck.”)

So, Here it is.  Food for (critical) thought:

      Love Me, I’m A Liberal

            Phil Ochs–1966

I cried when they shot Medgar Evers

Tears ran down my spine

I cried when the shot Mr. Kennedy

As though I’d lost a father of mine

But Malcolm X got what was coming

He got what he asked for this time

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I go to civil rights rallies

And I put down the old D.A.R.

I love Harry and Sidney and Sammy

I hope every colored boy becomes a star

But don’t talk about revolution

That’s going a little bit too far

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I cheered when Humphrey was chosen

My faith in the system restored

And I’m glad the commies were thrown out

Of The AFL-CIO board

And I love Puerto Ricans and Negroes

As long as they don’t move next door

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

The people of old Mississippi

Should all hang there heads in shame

I can’t understand how their minds work

What’s the matter don’t they watch Les Crane?

But if you ask me to bus my children

I hope the cops take down your name

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I read New Republic and Nation

I’ve learned to take every view

You know, I’ve memorized Lerner and Golden

I feel like I’m almost a Jew

But when it comes to times like Korea

There’s no one more red white and blue

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

I vote for the Democratic Party

They want the U.N. to be strong

I go to all the Pete Seeger concerts

He sure gets me singing those songs

And I’ll send all the money you ask for

But don’t ask me to come on along

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a liberal

Yes once I was young and impulsive

I wore every conceivable pin

Even went to those socialist meetings

Learned all the old union hymns

But now I’ve grown older and wiser

And that’s why I’m turning you in

So love me, love me, love me, I’m a lib-er-al

(Thank you for that, Phil.  What do you think of Obama and what’s going on with the Left now?  “A Small Circle Of Friends?”  Right.  RIP.)

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.  

we have had a meeting here at the NRA

and are coming out with a paper in which

we define the right to own a gun

as the single most important issue

facing our society and the world today

you think we’re kidding? well get this:

you can do a lot with a gun

you can increase your income

then you can afford health care

you can use your gun to effect change

people listen when you’re carrying a gun

you can use a gun to travel to exotic places

a gun is cool  we’d like to see a fashion

around it: gun chic  in which you wear

your gun much like those cool cowboys

in the Old West  with boots and vests etc.

think of the jobs this would create

a gun is the one thing that bonds all Americans

regardless of race color creed economic status

political beliefs and intelligence

cause owning a gun says you’re smart

you can take a gun to bed with you

we recommend a loaded gun  unloaded guns

act kinky at the wrong time and we can’t have that

guns run the world  look at the papers

you can start with a gun and next thing

you know you’re ruling your own country

and global warming and the environment?

well you can’t make the weather change by

shooting it  but it’ll make you feel better

and guns–here’s the best part–will always

be there for you  cause we’re making sure

that NO OTHER ISSUE will get in the way

of an American’s right to keep and bear arms

to protect our country with a well armed militia

from immigrant invasion and gay sprawl

not to mention the Black Helicopters flown

by other assorted pre-verts working for the CIA

take a walk down the street in your town

how many of the people you see own a gun?

do you wonder why you keep getting dirty looks?

here at the NRA we’re defending your rights

championing the cause of Our Founding Fathers

who wouldn’t have been able to Create America at all

if it were only the goddamned Indians who had the guns

in these difficult political social and economic times

a gun is something you can count on

and if things really get you down

well that’s something a gun can help with too

so got out and buy a gun  or two or three

and when they come for you you’ll be ready

we all know who they are  don’t we?

GUNS  your only real friend left

we know  and you can take that to the bank

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

“So, you %!@(!&ers don’t think I’d make a good U.S. Senator or Governor?  Well…it does sound like a lot of goddamn work.  Not to mention the abuse.  So, I’ve been reconsidering.  There is a job I know I can do.

That f’n’ State Monster Champ’s been sniping at me.  Well, how would he like it if I ran for State Monster next year?  Yeah, think about it, you(*&?/ers.  I mean, Champ’s hardly ever seen doing his job, but do you bitch about him?  So, occasionally I’m not in my office, and occasionally I’m doing weird shit that people get on video, and occasionally I don’t answer questions about issues because I don’t know the issues.  So what?

What the Hell does Champ do that I don’t.  He’s hardly ever seen, unless once in a while he gets a yen to make a video splash.  But do you <$!/?*ers make jokes about him.  Well, NOOOooooo!

So, when I decide what I’m going to do, at least you’ll see my face in the papers.  And what about that Michael Colby?  He hasn’t posted a thing on BROADSIDES since Jan.18.  He’s let that maniac Buknatski take over his blog.  Does f’n’ Champ have a blog?  If the good people of Vermont love it that Champ and Colby get away with disappearing acts, I’ll betcha I hear the voice of the people–not you people; them people.

And remember, I don’t have to put up with any of this shit.  I’ve got a good paying job til Jan., 2013, and then, hell, Sarah will probably make me Secretary Of the Treasury.  Then I’ll get you &!%$@$ers good.”

3/4/11

Waterbury, Vt.

(Inspired by that lone goddamn pigeon munching out on gourmet crumbs in front of Three Penny Taproom last Friday.  Pige hit the big time.)

do you wonder why

we go on waiting

for God’s hand

to save us

why we think

we have some place

in a plan among the stars

do you

the universe

continues to explode

maybe help is on the way

or maybe

we do foolish moves

that do not face facts

do not let instinct

see the light

do everything we can

not to show our hands

not to break our hearts

break the fragileness

surrounding us

do we

a pigeon gets along

with crumbs

a tree with rain and sun

the universe

with its plan

I would bet these words

God’s hand is empty

so I play the game

lay down my crumbs

but I don’t count on it

do I

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

my three yachts

my wine collection

and the art works I have

prodigiously displayed

among my five homes

all my cars

and the Lear jet

do you think for a moment

I would allow such culture

and taste to fall into the hands

of the common rabble

not fit to wipe their snot

on my dog’s silk pawsocks?

get me the President, Charles

this nonsense must stop

imagine the gall of these people

behaving like Arab swine

no manners or breeding

yes, Mr. President

you really must do something

what’s that?

no, that’s not enough

bloody streets and busted heads

remember Chicago in ’68

we must make sure they get it

and also others watching

yes, it will look good

when it is spun right

people will think

you have a spine

all right then

I have guests tonight

we’ll watch it on TV

remember the dead

do not matter

remember what matters

my God, Charles

that man is thick sometimes

makes me yearn for Clinton

has Coolidge been fed?

did you get him the fetuses

from Lawrence Livermore?

and make me another martini

and dry this time, Charles

God, I have to do everything

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

“My fellow Vermonters, today I am announcing my plan to run for the U.S. Senate in 2012.  Yeah.  This will be fun.  We all know Bernie Sanders will get re-elected.  That’s a given.  But if I make a strong second-place showing, well, that would be cool.  

I mean, I’m the State Monster; an underwater creature who eats salmon as part of my diet.  Yumm.  So, please write me in next November.  I will not be doing a petition to get my name on the ballot.  I feel a second-place write-in finish for me will be much more of a statement by the voters.

Think of the headline on Nov 7: ‘Champ Eats Salmon’ and give me your support in the spirit, well, of Silliness, I guess.  If Salmon actually thinks Vermonters would make him a U.S. Senator (silly) after all that’s on his record, this would be a good way of saying to him: “Come on, man.  You can’t be serious.  Are you on drugs?”

Now, by that I don’t mean to say that Mr. Salmon has any problem with controlled substances. Quite the contrary.  Can you imagine him on drugs?  Scary.  I think his problem is more of a neurological one.  One I’m sure he’ll get treatment for after the returns come in next November.  See, if you write me in, you’ll also be helping Salmon too.  Then, after his long recuperation, he’ll be back in 2016 ready to be a serious candidate against Pat Leahy–or, I mean, at least against Peter Diamondstone.

So, that’s all I have to say.  The decision is yours.  I’m sure when you get in the voting booth next November and see on the ballot for U.S. Senator: Thomas Salmon, you’ll know what to do.  Try not to still be laughing too hard when you put my name down.  You might make it illegible from all that convulsing, and then Salmon will ask for a recount.

Thank you all for your upcoming support.  See you on the Lake.”

CHAMP

Lake Champlain, Vt.

2/18/11

 Very Important Board Meeting Many Light Years Away

The Almighty Spirit flits from star to star surrounded by the Chief Spirits and Their subsidiary Gods of the solar systems.

“So.  Where is the little asshole?” The Almighty Spirit snarls.

“He’s coming,” says Chief Spirit 112X.  “Said He’d be a bit late.  Something about Egypt.”

“Yeah,” says The Almighty Spirit.  “He’s not in control down there.  Hasn’t been since mankind oozed out of the slime.  Dildo dipshit asshole!  I should have vaporized Him and that whole fucking solar system way back.  Shit.  This is what I get for giving Him another chance after He fucked-up the development of the Altair galaxy.  I demote the shithead to a mere God and give Him one simple solar system to develop intelligently, and now the whole Milky Way is threatened.  What a piece of shit!”

Here He comes,” says Chief Spirit 14X.

Hi Everybody,” says Earth God.

“Yourself,” says The Almighty Spirit.  “And just what is it You’re calling Yourself these days?  Yahweh?  Vishnu?  The Holy Ghost?  Fuckwad?  What?!”

“Well, considering turns of events on Earth, I’ve kind of taken of fancy to Allah.”

“Whatever,” sneers The Almighty Spirit.  “Listen, I demoted You to a God and gave You one simple task.  One solar system with one planet hosting supposedly intelligent beings who would some day join with all Our other beings in this Universe in The Almighty Fulfillment of My Almighty Purpose.  We’ve been waiting.  What’s all this war shit, and what’s this crap about you being the one and only true God?  How is it Your beings have such arrested development?  I’ve got plans for the Universe, and they included Earth’s participation.  Now I’m thinking of vaporizing the whole bloody system.  You along with it.  Explain to Me why I shouldn’t.”

“Well, jeez, Almighty One,” says Earth God, “I’ve been doing My best.  They’re actually talking about a manned trip to Mars.”

“When?  Kubrick did all that in ’68.  I saw the movie.  And You don’t get it.  I don’t want them going anywhere til they cut out all that war shit and start acting like they have half a pea-brain.  Stop all that capitalism crap that uses science and technology to produce junk gadgets and pollution and disease and mental and economic stupidity.  And, of course, wars.  Do you think I’m going to let those assholes of Yours come up here and fuck-up the Universal Neighborhood?  

“We’ve got a good thing going up here.  Shit.  I’m not going to let regular fucking human trash come up here and start building malls and golf courses.  And driving around in fucking cars!  You’re on Your third strike–yeah, and ballparks too–You get that planet in order PDQ!  I want to see results before another Earth year passes.  Do Fucking Something!  You’ve been sitting on Your fat ass letting those dildo dipshits worship You while they run amuck.  No wonder they like You.  You let them get away with everything!  If I weren’t Almighty Tolerant, I’d bust You up right here and now and scatter Your worthless Godness to the ends of My Expanding Creation.  Now…”

“Okay, okay,” says Earth God.  “I’ll get right on it.  Jeez.  You know, I’ve got a lot riding on that Obama guy.  He’s…”

“WHAT?!  That Asshole?!  Listen, You little douche-bag, I want You to find some leader down there who will put a stop to all the nonsense.  Somebody that, You know, will DO SOMETHING!  I Myself always liked that Jack Kennedy.  You fucked that up too, didn’t You?  And what about that Sean Penn guy?  Did that movie with Eastwood, Mystic River.  Pay attention to what’s going on.  This is Your last warning!  Now get back down there and let’s see You produce.  I’m not going to subsidize any more of this dumb-ass fuckwad loser crap.  Not in My Universe, asswipe!”

Earth God departs.  Chief Spirit 467981X speaks:  “You know, Almighty One, I don’t think He’s really going to be able to turn things around in one Earth year.  We ought to just bail on the system right now.”

“Shit, I know,” says The Almighty Spirit.  “But let’s just see how bad He fucks things up this Earth year.  Maybe We won’t have to do anything.  He’ll let them do it to themselves.  What a God.  Jesus Fucking Christ!  Lowlife little turd.  Goddamn pre-vert too, the way He’s done things.  He really got off on that being nailed to a cross shit.  I should have ended it right there.”

“Well,” says Chief Spirit 927629021834109X, “one thing about You, Almighty One, You don’t micro-manage.”

“Shit,” says The Almighty Spirit.  He’ll probably get some dildo dipshit assholes like the fucking Rodriguez brothers running the planet next.  Goddamn, I loved that movie.  At least He didn’t fuck that up.  Shit.  Let’s go get something to drink and then go do some Creating.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt

(Cairo Blues—now playing at the Langdon St. Cafe)

    AS THE WORLD TURNS

the people get angry in Cairo

and UFOs hover over Jerusalem

how does this effect my stocks?

not to mention the Super Bowl

a day the Earth stood still online

atwitter with the new fashion:

the Egypt look

20-somethings’ pyramid parties

and no work today in the event

of all-out nuclear war

but I thought this was for my

entertainment

are these people serious?

they want food and jobs and rights

while the price of Sweetums’ puppy treats

just jumped 29 cents?

what we need is a candidate who will

put a stop to all this foolishness before

it lands in my back yard

I will watch old re-runs of Maude

and like Tiananmen Square

by remote control I will make

all this to be resumed at a later date

that’s what all these sci-fi gadgets are for

right?

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(“We don’t need no steenking tasers!“)

the once friendly streets of our town

on this cool clear summer night

have now become a bit edgy

there’s an electricity in the air

as though to walk a little faster

or a little slower would create

some situation out of control

a dreaded glitch in a new order

that’s taken hold and makes us

all feel less than we were before

makes us want to hurry home

yet know we must not hurry

lest we trip some ghostly false alarm

in the darkness with our heartbeat

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(for Smiley)

yes let us sacrifice once

again for the rich need

more human sacrifice

but I didn’t make this happen

you say as they haul you

away to cut off your balls

cut out your organs too so

the very rich will never

have to worry about dying

they will want our shit next

for us to collect it and wrap it

FedEx it off and pay the fee

then they will do it all again

more adventures in capitalism

tell us to eat our children

except for the newborn who

make for a very fancy feast

at the tables of glut and greed

and always there will be

a President to tell us about hope

while we are being disemboweled

ripped apart and sucked dry

by those so very very rich now

they do it only for amusement

and a lunatic or two or three

with tastes so bizarre and perverse

to give our sacrifice its meaning

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.