America’s Dreamiest Former Senator, Scott Brown, is coyly approaching a candidacy for U.S. Senate from his verrrrrry recently adopted home state, New Hampshire. And, shades of Bruce Lisman, he’s on a statewide Listening Tour. Y’know, trying to learn stuff about the place. Maybe avoid Jack McMullen-style mispronunciations. (Hot tip: it’s BURR-lin, not ber-LIN, New Hampshire. They changed the pronunciation during one of the wars that made Germanic heritage less than palatable.)
He’s begun his tour with the requisite token ride North Of The Notches, where the land is empty and the votes are few. As the campaign heats up, he’ll spend more and more of his time in the southeast, where there are lots of voters (good) who are close enough to Massachusetts to have some awareness of his political record (bad).
A couple days ago, Scotty 2 Hotty and Friends found themselves in tiny Lancaster, just across the Connecticut River from the Northeast Kingdom. Looking for a place where lots of people might gather, his advance team chose a local gift shop.
Which, as it turned out, was closed. Bwahahahahaha.
A candidate tracker from the liberal group American Bridge was on hand, and recorded a short excerpt of Brown and his team standing around a chilly parking lot peering inside the shop and wondering what the hell to do, while the proto-candidate struggled to keep a plastic grin on his face. (Follow the link to view the 57 seconds of cringeworthy hilarity.)
Priceless.
You’re right, JV, about the majority of voters being in the southern part of NH (both east and west, btw). And, of course quite a few of them moved to southern NH as refugees from Taxachusetts, and many of them still work south of the border. So, Brown might find some recent ex-pats and compatriots to elicit an — um — identity vote, maybe?
Plenty of conservatives in NH. I grew up there and left when the governor (Meldrim Thompson, affectionately known as the “Oracle of Orford”) wanted to arm the NH National guard with tactical nuclear weapons and site a second nuclear power plant next to UNH, on a fragile estuarine wetland.
NanuqFC
The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~ Henry Cate VII
Maybe the former Senator from Massachusetts is embarrassed or just angry with his advance team. Mostly he just looks like a lost tourist seeking directions at the gift shoppe.
BTW: I think both stories about the former NH Gov. are true, but he generated plenty of great tales regardless. Also Meldrim has no ‘P’ in his Thomson.
McMullen answered six. Fred…we miss ye. I still have his campaign postcard:
F= friendly
R= renewable
E = extraterrestrial
D = dinky
Thomson had such a great campaign song, courtesy Johnny Mercer and Rev MJ Divine:
You got to ac-cen-tu-ate the positive,
E-lim-in-ate the negative,
And latch on to the affirmative,
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between.
(N.B. history fans:The Rev’s initials, MJ, stood for “Most Jealous.” I kid thee not.)
Where the heck did Scott Brown set up shop in NH, anyway? Maybe Wolfboro, down the road from the Angel Moroni and his pal, Mittens?
Ladies magazine: modeling fees minus agent cut
Moving to New Hampshire: couple hundred thousand dollars
Running for senate: couple of million dollars
Hiring a campaign manager that can use Google Maps: priceless