“So, who really killed Kennedy?”

“I think it was Joe DiMaggio.”

“Yeah?  No shit?”

“Yeah.  The clue was in that song from the ’67 movie, The Graduate.  You know, ‘Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?…’  That’s how I figured it out.  Cause everybody associated with the Kennedy assassination either died or disappeared.”

“Wow.  I never caught that.  Far out!  When do you think the government will tell us the truth?”

“Not for another fifty years.  After everybody  involved is long dead.  And their kids too.  By the time the truth comes out, the generation who hears it will think it’s old history, like Lincoln.  Hell, they’ll probably say: ‘Who was this Jack Kennedy? Some sixties rock star?’  Nobody cares.  People don’t want to know.”

“I always thought it was the Big Business pigs who had Kennedy offed.  They didn’t like the shit he was doing.  Too much unions and peace stuff.”

“That’s why they paid DiMaggio to kill him.”

“Who paid him?”

“U.S. Steel.  Remember the ‘steel crisis’ in ’62?”

“Yeah, yeah.  The steel workers’ union wanted a wage increase.  U.S. Steel and four other steel companies were fighting it.  Kennedy got it settled by having the steel workers agree to drop the wage increase demand, and U.S. Steel and the other steel companies to agree not to raise the price of steel–the price increase would have caused an inflation tidal wave on our entire economy.  But within days of Kennedy thinking he had things settled, the CEO of U.S. Steel announced something like a 4% increase in its steel prices, with other steel companies following suit.  Kennedy was something PISSED.  He felt double-crossed.  He went on TV and slammed the steel companies about holding profit above the national interest.  And he imposed a boycott on them–giving all the steel contracts on our Polaris subs and other Pentagon projects to Lukens Steel, the only steel company honoring the wage/price freeze.  Bobby Kennedy also sent the FBI after U.S. Steel execs who had pressured Bethlehem Steel to go along with the price increase.  Accused them of ‘price fixing’.  U.S. Steel and the other steel companies backed down.  No price increase.  But now those CEOs were pissed.  They never forgave Kennedy for humiliating and beating them, while at the same time making the union steel workers look like all-American saints.  Heavy-handed White House pressure, they called it.  Imagine Obama handling Wall Street like that now?  Yeah.  U.S. Steel.  Big Business.  Wall Street.”

“You got it. Nice to talk to someone who remembers the record.  Fucking Americans just don’t like to think about it.”

“Yeah.  Joe DiMaggio working for Big Business.”

“I was just shittin’ around about Joltin’ Joe.”

“I know.  And then there’s all that Castro, Diem, de Gaulle bullshit.  But the way Americans bought into the crazed lone assassin with the eagle eye and quick reflexes, and the ‘magic bullet’ crap, you’d think Lee Harvey Oswald could have played for the Yankees.”

“I know.  But he’s sort of playing for them now.”

“What?!”

“A-Rod.”

“Heh-heh.  Yeah.  Well, good discussion.  Glad we got that settled.  Especially on this particular day.”

“You know, when you tell people this, they give you that funny look, and then call you a ‘Conspiracy Nut’.  Assholes.”

“Well, the American people have become dim dim bulbs.  I’d rather talk the truth than play stupid.  Worse yet is being stupid.”

“Yeah.  Well, see ya.  Don’t let it get to you.”

“No.  I’m gonna talk a lot about it today to people.  That’s how I let it GET TO THEM.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Yeah, you too.  We’re gonna need it.”

(And that, kiddies, is the story of Nov. 22, 1963.)

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

Nov. 22, 2013