(Yeah, your little Dem in the White House has a Nobel Peace Prize, right?  George Bush didn’t get one.  You Dems should figure out how Obama can blame Bush for Syria.  And Drone Murder (and other atrocities) in Afghanistan.  And Sequestration.  And the NSA spying.  And…ah shit.  Obama’s a Dem.  He vigiled for Trayvon Martin.  Not for Shelly Frey, cause she was obviously not worth his attention.  Crock of…Dem Hypocrisy.  Start another war, but that’s okay, because it’s A DEM WAR.

So, here is what Obama is really saying to us.  Underneath all that Jello Pudding.)

OBAMA’S ADDRESS TO THE NATION ON SYRIA–THE TRANSLATION

“A dangerous new precedent has been set.  My fellow Americans, we cannot ignore what has happened, or it will happen again.  Many times, in the past decades since WWII, America has ignored the precedents of leaders and peoples of other nations killing their own people, either in civil war or through political purges.  But now, in Syria, we see how our past policies of neglecting the real issue here have come back to haunt us.  In Syria, we are seeing now the use of nasty high tech chemical weapons of mass destruction by Syrians to kill other Syrians.  My fellow Americans, we can no longer stand for any more of these precedents.  To these leaders and countries we must say ENOUGH!

“We must say to the world what we should have said in 1964 after the Gulf of Tonkin incident.  That it is the sole province of the United States of America to kill other peoples in other nations.  Those Syrians Assad gassed?  It is not Assad’s right to kill those people.  The United States of America could have killed them.  America’s righteous might would have been happy to have killed them.  And without all this fuss.  I say this to you now speaking honestly as an American, A Democrat AND a Republican, your first Black President, and a recipient of the Nobel Prize for Peace, as was Martin Luther King, may I remind you.  We, as Americans, can be proud of the fact that we now have an opportunity here to set the rest of the world straight as to America’s relations with it.

“That is why, my fellow Americans, I must bomb the living shit out of Syria, regardless of implied threats from Russia and China.  To teach the lesson that when a nation wants to massacre its own people, that nation should come to us first and say: ‘Hey, the fuck you gonna kill these people for us?  That’s what you do, right?  Has the U.S.A gone pussy?’

“No, I say.  The U.S.A. has not gone pussy.  I, Barack Obama, will uphold, and expand, the legacies of our great past leaders, such as Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George Herbert Walker Bush, and George W. Bush.  I am ready now to send drones, Air Force and Navy carrier planes, cruise missiles, and, if necessary, Nukes to any nation that asks for our assistance in killing its own people.  The United States of America must be, and always shall be, the world’s leader in the killing of peoples everywhere.  No matter their race, religious creed, or whether they like it or not.

(Applause)

“I say now to Russia and China: ‘Let America do its job.  Let the United States be the nation to assume the burden, and the honor, of being Planet Earth’s Designated Killer.’

(Louder Applause)

“And, to show our good faith and sincerity to Russia and China, I will ask Congress to extend my Executive Powers into a new official federal program enabling me, here at home, to see to it that the Trayvon Martins and the Darius Simmonses will be killed not by individual Americans, but by the federal government.  This new program will also cover the kinds of killings of Americans we have seen in Newtown, Connecticut, at the Boston Marathon, and as many future killings of as many Americans, for whatever causes and circumstances, that can come under, what I will call, my New Executive Powers Federal Government Emergency Killing of Americans Program.  That’s NEPFGEKAP.  Sounds sort of Russian, doesn’t it?  Well, this will show Putin I didn’t really mean ill when I called him a jackass.  I meant it as a compliment.  I am a great admirer of the Russian people.  I have learned much from reading about Stalin.  Therefore, under NEPFGEKAP, Americans found guilty of killing other Americans in violation of this new program will, of course, have to be killed.

(muted applause)

“We must show the world that killing people should be the job of a nation which is a high tech professional in that field.  That killing people is what makes America great.  What makes Americans exceptional.  What makes all Americans united to meet the challenge of any other nation or peoples who would attempt, through war, terrorism, or jackassery, to undermine the manifest destiny of the United States of America.

(Loud Applause)

“So I ask you, my fellow American killers, to lobby your Congresspeople and write letters to the editors and blog with this message: ‘Hey.  The fuck you won’t let Bama bomb?  Let Bama do his job, man.  You pussies.’

“Together, all of us Americans, can participate in killing and being killed the way killing was meant to be.  For those other people’s sake.  For our own sakes.  For our children’s sakes.  For a future where killing is no longer a mindless tragedy, but the vehicle that will lead us to equality and justice.  To order and enlightenment.  And to WORLD PEACE.

(Standing Applause)

“Yes, I have a dream, and I see a world where even the most impoverished and oppressed of the world can finally hold high their heads and say to the United States: ‘Kill me.  Please.  Kill me now.  And kill our children.  And all our pets.’

“And we, the greatest nation on the face of the Earth, will answer: ‘The fuck you didn’t ask us sooner?  Here. And here’s one for the Gipper.’

(Standing Applause and Hoots and Whistles)

“My fellow Americans, I will go forward now, with you behind me, holding high my head and my Nobel Prize, and fulfill the mission you have entrusted me with by electing me, not once, but twice, your President.  Free to do the work you have given me.  Free to be the leader of all of you, Democrats, Republicans, and those of you who may not live to see the day come when all Americans, Black, White and Hispanic, well-to-do or mentally infirm, will be free from worry and fear about who is killing whom.  Free to to go to the mountaintop and watch the morning glory of mushroom clouds–American Mushroom Clouds–rise over the horizons of the world, and know that the United States of America made that happen.  Yes, free.  Free at last.  Free at last.  Great God Almighty bless the United States of America!  And God Bless You All Too.  And God Bless Me.  And bless the dead, for which we all stand.  Thank you.”

(Standing Ovation Applause, Hoots, Cheers, Whistles, Screams, Fireworks, Gunshots…and then…commercials.)

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Now, come on with the ‘Obama is better than Bush or whatever bullshit’  Thank you)