Update: Freeploid reports that UVM police are investigating, and the ad has been pulled from Craigslist.
Dunno what they’re teaching our young men at the U o’Vee Em, but apparently it doesn’t include “How to Tell the Difference Between Penthouse Forum and Reality.” Craigslist Burlington, “Casual Encounters” section::
Mmm hmm. Counseling, anyone?
A few things that pass through the mind…
— My first thought was “frat boys again,” but this isn’t provable from the text of the ad. It might just be ten young, testosterone-fueled (but not at all gay, no sirree) men sharing a house with no Greek letters on the front. Then again, can you say “Sigma Phi Epsilon,” kids?
— I guess they’ve got no issue with the Mommy/Whore dichotomy, since they’re looking for a combination of the two. Way to break through the glass basement.
— That’s one highly elastic definition of “MILF,” boys: you’re looking for a “mother” who’s no more than a few years older then you. I’d love to see your genealogy charts.
— Glad to hear the boys are “clean.” I would, however, like to see some medical documentation.
— Somehow I think they’ll be hearing from University officials (and maybe their parents) before they hear from any “ladies,” cough.
First, I want to appreciate that you recognized that this craigslist post is offensive. I assume some folks out there will defend it, and I want to place my feedback in the context of acknowledging that the general intent of this post is on the right side. That said, I think there are some problematic elements of your response that take away from the opportunity to make this a ‘teaching moment’ of sorts…
Although the suggestion of counselling isn’t off base for men who would post this ad, by assuming the posters are either frat boys or in need of mental health services, you are segmenting them off from the general population of college men. This creates this implication that the average college guy has nothing in common with those who posted this and doesn’t need to be educated about how to be respectful towards women/ not be sexist/ not perpetuate rape culture/ etc. Without knowing who these folks are, it could be helpful to not prematurely prevent ourselves from looking critically at college culture largely so that we can create opportunities to educate our whole community. In my experience, it’s not uncommon for men to make jokes along the lines of this post and have it all excused within the ‘boys will be boys’ territory. The ad definitely goes to an extreme (esp. if they were seriously hoping to find a candidate), but it’s not an unfathomable distance from the dominant cultural experience/ things regular well meaning guys say.
When you recognize that it might be average guys sharing a house, you provide the built in excuse that their post is “testosterone fueled.” To me, this reads pretty similarly to “boys will be boys.” A person doesn’t post offensive misogyny as a necessary condition of having hormones, they post it because they don’t value women or they aren’t educated around issues of sexism/ rape culture. Most men are better than this and it’s pretty fair to demand that everyone acts better going forward, presence of testosterone notwithstanding. It’s clear you agree with this point- I think clarity in language and refraining from attributing to behavior to hormones will help drive home the point that the post in unacceptable.
Then there’s the gay comment— I’m not really sure how to interpret this, but I doesn’t seem to elevate the conversation around why this craigslist ad is problematic in any way. Is it a comment on how a frat would not want to be perceived as gay? Frat culture probably deserves criticism for that somewhere along the line… It seems like it attempts to shame the frat by calling them gay (because a frat would find it shameful, so it can be used against them even if the author doesn’t find it shameful…). It’s never good to use accusations of homosexuality to shame, even if the there is some nuanced point in there about how it’s their problem for finding homosexuality shameful. The “but not at all gay, no sirree” comment seems to insist that they must be gay if many men live together (what with their testosterone and all)- It projects a sexual orientation on folks based on a stereotype of their perceived behavior when they have not, and may not want to apply the definition to themselves. While I certainly don’t think it’s written to be homophobic in any sense, it’s generally not great to use accusations around sexuality as an insult or joke. It doesn’t so much remind me of the way homophobic people act as it does well meaning young men/ boys who make casual jokes with one another along the lines of “no homo.” While those jokes are a step up on openly homophobic bullying, it’s not exactly a picture of progress to treat the label of “gay” as a negative and implied insult.
Despite my critical feedback, it’s good to see even casual craigslist displays of being a terrible/ sexist person get called out publicly. Based on your update it seems like you were right, they’ll be hearing from investigators, feminists, and maybe their actual moms before they hear from applicants.
Wanted: Very young Vermont girls for sex slaves. Will feed and keep alive til new shipment comes from Haliburton in December. Contact: Faud (The Faudster) at saudiprincesneedyounggirlsorwewillgetyouwithalqaeda@yahoo.com. Thank you most muchly. Allah Be Praised!
Yes. THAT is what it’s about. No if, ands, or buts. These boys should be made to wear Saudi Sheik outfits.
Work for us AND be our sex slave! What’ not to like?
I think these boys believe that porn is real…