Well, well. Our old friend, the Robster, has a solution — no, no, make that THE solution — to all our country’s health-care woes. It’s so simple you won’t believe it.

Well, it’s so simple I don’t believe it, and if you’ve got any brains you won’t either.

The distinguished President of the Ethan Allen Institute outlines the plan in a VTDigger op-ed. The idea, in short: Doctors provide a certain amount of pro bono health care for the poor, and in exchange, the government assumes their medical malpractice coverage.

That’s it.

No need for exchanges or single-payer. No need for the Robster’s alleged “government takeover of health care.” Heck, no need for Medicaid or Medicare, folks.

Of course, there are a few holes in the plan. Just off the top of my head:

— The poor would get basic service from volunteer doctors at free clinics. But how would the much, much greater cost of medical tests and hospitalizations be covered? Surgeries? Medical devices? Post-hospital rehab? Physical therapy?

— Unless you very broadly define “the poor,” a whole lot of people will be left out. Say, those stuck in low-paying or part-time jobs, or those working for the ever-growing number of employers who don’t offer health insurance (or who only offer crappy plans with sky-high deductibles).

— The plan would do nothing — NOTHING — to bend the health care cost curve, which is making insurance unaffordable for an ever-increasing number of Americans.

— If participation is voluntary (and it better be, coming from the head of the Ethan Allen Institute), what if too many doctors opt out? What if there’s a shortage of participating doctors in certain geographic areas or specialties?

— The plan presumes a Norman Rockwell health care system, with each doctor in solo practice. Today, virtually all doctors are in group practices or are employees of large organizations, institutions, and corporations. Those institutions pay the malpractice premiums. Do the institutions get to decide whether all their doctors participate? How do they negotiate hours of voluntary service?

— If you believe in market forces as an inducement to good behavior (an article of faith for conservatives, I’ve been told) then this plan would completely eliminate the moral hazard for malpractice. Oh, Rob, we don’t really want that, do we?

— And here’s a big fat contradiction. You don’t believe in centralized, single-payer health care — but you’re advocating centralized, single-payer malpractice coverage? Oh, Rob, how could you?

I could go on, but that’s quite enough, I think.

Where did the Robster pick up this juicy little idea?

From one Dr. Alieta Eck, a candidate for U.S. Senate in this year’s special election in New Jersey to fill the late Frank Lautenberg’s seat.

After the jump: Evidence of Dr. Eck’s nutbaggery.

The latest polls put Eck way, way behind the other Republican, Steve Lonegan. They also put Lonegan way, way behind  the top Democrat in the race, Newark Mayor Cory Booker. So that gives you an idea how far out of the mainstream our Dr. Eck is.

Here’s another hint: Dr. Eck is a past president of the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS). Not to be confused with the AMA or any reputable medical organization.

The most famous member of AAPS is Ron Paul.

AAPS is, to put it roughly, the John Birch Society of medicine. Its original purpose was to “fight socialized medicine and to fight the government takeover of medicine.” It has characterized Medicare and Medicaid as “evil” and “immoral,” and urged its members to boycott the programs.

Oh, and in 2008, the AAPS implied that Barack Obama was using “neuro-linguistic programming,” a “covert form of hypnosis,” to coerce people into electing him as President.

The AAPS’ official medical journal is a real piece of work. It has published “scientific” articles asserting that climate change is not caused by human activity and that it will be beneficial; that HIV does not cause AIDS; that the “gay male lifestyle” shortens life expectancy by 20 years*; that there is a link between abortion and breast cancer; that “humanists” have conspired to replace creationism with evolution; and that illegal immigrants are responsible for a sharp rise in leprosy cases in America.

*Somehow I doubt that the journal has reported the actually true medical fact that lesbianism is demonstrably healthier than heterosexuality. Fewer STDs, hardly any domestic violence, and much lower exposure to the health risks of pregnancy.

On that last one, published in 2005? The author claimed 7,000 leprosy cases in the preceding three years. Problem is, 7,000 was actually the figure for the preceding THIRTY years.

The journal has never published a correction.

I think that will suffice to show that the esteemed Rob Roper is getting his health care policy advice from a real-life Paultard — a former driver of America’s biggest medical clown car, which is a purveyor of fraudulent “science” that’s helped fuel the Tea Party and the Religious Right and climate-change denialism.

Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Roper, doing his best to further marginalize conservatism in Vermont. Thanks, Robster; we at GMD appreciate your efforts.