Well, I’ve been reading some of the Vt. Digger comments (not all) by obvious Little Dems who say Jeremy Dodge has been ‘playing’ back and forth with Shumlin, setting himself up as a martyr on one hand, and, on the other, a slick self-interested con man whose next move will not necessarily be what he says it will be, nor mean what it really means.  I love it!

For what it really means is potentially great theatre, in which Governor Sleaze gets sucker-punched left and right, and, instead of us wondering what the Gov’s latest bullshit will be, we’ll have the spectacle of a low-income habitual offender using all his mentally diminished skills to take our Gov through the political ringer and then the cleaners.  You gotta love it!

Headline:

WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT?!…Shumlin and Diamond Beg Dodge To be Reasonable; Shumlin’s Approval Rating At 29%; Most Vermonters Think Governor Dumber Than Dodge

Yes.  This could get really good.  Bend over, Shummy.  Wish you had moved next to Bill Sorrell now?

Hell, Gov, probably the very first time Dodge saw you as his new neighbor, he said to himself:  “Look at this rich asshole.  I call him meat.  This is gonna be better and easier than any scam I’ve ever pulled.  Just gotta play him.  Yeah, that’s what you do with rich assholes.  And he’s the Governor too.  Can’t afford any scandal shit.  Think I’ll just mosey on over there and see if he wants any landscaping done.  Be neighborly.  Boy, almost too easy.  Meat.”

Hell, if this keeps up, Dodge might end up with Shumlin’s job too.  Sort of a cross between those two classic movies, ALL THE KING’S MEN and A FACE IN THE CROWD.

With more than a little bit of The Culhanes thrown in:

Grandpa:  “That there Governor still thinks he pig-fucked you, Jeremy.”

Jeremy:  “Awh.  He don’t know one end of a pig from another.”

Lulu:  “He sure is in for a surprise.”

Clem:  “I made some posters up for your election next year, Jeremy.”

Jeremy:  “You didn’t use any of that paper I took at WalMart last year, did you?”

Clem:  “Nah.  The Governor gave me a bunch of his letterhead papers.  Said he’d bill me for it later.”

Jeremy:  “You won’t have to worry about that.”

Lulu:  “I wonder what time it is now.”

Grandpa:  “Time to call up them media folks.  Clem wrote a whole new different statement.  On the Governor’s paper.”

Jeremy:  “Tell the media I said ‘Hey’ and that I really like the Governor.  That he’s a nice man.  Even though he disses me.”

Grandpa:  “You bet.  They’ll love that.”

Lulu:  “I wonder what’s on the TV now.”

Grandpa:  “Not us. Yet.”

Jeremy:  “But tune in tomorrow, Lulu.  For a new episode.”

Lulu:  “Jeremy?”

Jeremy:  “What, Lulu?”

Lulu:  “When you get that 2 million dollars and get to be Governor, can you buy me a suitcase of Bud and a quart of Jack?  And put a Cee-ment Pond in on the Statehouse Lawn?”

Jeremy:  “Done.  Boy, I wish I didn’t have to pay them two Republican lawyers forty percent of that 2 million.”

Clem:  “Hey, Jeremy.  I got an idea about that.  And how to make them wind up paying us.”

Grandpa:  “First, let’s finish off the Governor.”

Jeremy:  “He’s as good as finished.  At least on one side.  Gotta flip him.”

Clem:  “I’ll say.”

Lulu:  “I wonder what I’d look like as Secretary of State.”

Grandpa:  “Good, child, good.  Better than even that Deb lady.  Right, Jeremy?”

Jeremy:  “I think I’ll head over to the WalMart.  Anybody want anything?”

Yes.  Tune in again, folks, when we’ll hear Jeremy say:  “I think Governor Shumlin is the swellest fellow I’ve ever done business with ever.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Our next episode of Governor Hee-Haw may include the famous skits: “I’m A Pickin'(Shumlin) & I’m A Grinnin'(Dodge)” & Shumlin & Diamond doing a rendition of “Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me.”  He searched the world over for a great real estate deal, but he met another dealer and (spit) it was gone.)