( – promoted by Jack McCullough)
Last week, when a box was left alone on the sidewalk on Langdon Street in downtown Montpelier, it was occasion for us to witness the full resources of the State of Vermont’s capacity to respond to the specter of an immanent threat to the safety of her people. City police closed off a full city block on Main Street, area businesses were told no one could come in or out*, and the State Police bomb squad was called in to handle the situation. As I understand it, first a robot took an x-ray of the suspicious box- which confirmed there was no bomb inside. But from there, apparently, the various police agencies involved (presumably including Federal) decided that since they’d gone to all the trouble of being there, the thing that made the most sense was to continue to keep a large section of downtown closed off and use their robot to fire at the box and open it. The whole incident took something in the order of three hours, perhaps a hair more.
*Curiously, while the block was closed a few hundred feet towards School Street, and a lessor distance towards State Street, police personnel lingering on Langdon Street itself- including the Bomb Squad’s truck- seemed significantly closer to the theoretically dangerous cardboard. Even more questionable, from the perspective of protecting ordinary citizens, is that businesses within the closed off block were not evacuated, but merely told no one could enter or exit. Clearly this speaks to the level of danger that authorities understood the situation to entail; and if not that, then a level of ineptitude in protecting us that should be called in to question.
Of course, no reasonable person would suggest there is certainty to the idea that no one would ever find occasion to leave a random bomb in a box on a sidewalk in a sleepy town of 8,000 nestled in what, by the standards of the vast majority of the population, is the middle of fucking no where. At various points in history it was nearly impossible to imagine an end to the reign of the Tsars in Russia, or for a human being to walk on the moon, or for a million other things. The point being that we’re better served, perhaps, by looking at what’s possible in terms of probability rather than certainty.
With all this in mind, those we elect to lead us and shape our society (and subsequently those who they put in charge of things such as our “security”) take quite seriously the possibility that someone, for some reason, at some point, could be interested in leaving just such a bomb in just such a random location. For exactly this reason the Bomb Squad was called to Montpelier last week. Yet it seems that at some point during the events of May 2 in Montpelier these police forces knew with some degree of certainty that there was no threat (the box ended up containing a pile of books).
I’ll detour for a quick second here to lambast that continually easy target: the media. They have dutifully reported the facts of the incident (who, what, where, when), but as for what I’ve seen, have asked not a single question regarding the logic of what transpired. This strict obedience to the Official story, and unwillingness to engage the population in a manner which asks us to question the actions of the State or even- god forbid- question the logic of our fearless leaders and institutions, is a complete betrayal of the very concept of a free press. And without the diligence of the Forth Estate to educate and antagonize, I’d suggest the very possibility of a free, (a progressing, growing and maturing society) is practically dead in the water.
But yes. Protecting the people. This is, of course, the very premise of the police and “security” for society. But I can’t help but use the “bomb scare” in Montpelier (um, I have yet to talk to anyone who was actually scared or believed the box contained anything likely dangerous) (but perhaps some of our more conservative friends would take this time to opine about the dangers of some books- these were, after all, something called “The Vermont Parent’s Home Guide” or something like that- could be some commie BS) as an opportunity to question where and how we allocate our resources. If nearly anything is possible, and just comes down to a matter of probability, it would seem we would be best served to direct and consentrate our limited resources towards areas in which we know there to be higher instances of actual danger to society. Here are some things far more likely to kill a U.S. citizen than a terrorist attack. In fact, we’re eight times more likely to be killed by a police officer than by a terrorist(1). If we have a societal interest in protecting ourselves (which, of course we do) then our trust of the police is far, far less rational than our fear of terrorism. If we have limited resources, shouldn’t we prioritize addressing things that are more dangerous over things that are less likely?
While it’s just hearsay, the only word on the street I’ve heard regarding how this lonely box of books became victim of police robot violence involves a vague and random threat/utterance from a mentally unstable person (Montpelier seems to have more then its fair share of such folks wondering around the streets). It’s not worth harping on, since it’s not a known fact that this is true, but perhaps a sharper focus on resources to aid and care for people with mental disorders or deficiencies would be a smarter- and more efficient- use of than all the bomb squads and police robots.
All things considered, there are countless threats to the safety and health and wellbeing of us all. We come together, as a social species, specifically to bring our resources together and provide for a more plentiful and safe and fulfilling world for all of us. The question remains though, in what manner should we allocate said resources? Where are they most effective for creating the greatest outcome for the greatest number of us? Blindly acting out of fear, instead of thoughtfully considering what are in fact the most realistic and most dangerous threats we face, and then focusing our efforts accordingly, would seem to me to be highly questionable manners of behaving.
…to die laughing at how the mainstream media makes the ridiculous look like we are even stupider than we imagined. There’s a suspicious box under the Christmas tree!–Hold the Front Page!
Well, if we added cameras to every street corner we would know where the box came from, and then have an idea who left it. We already have license plate readers on police cars, so that data could be combined with facial recognition software to identify the actual person who left the box. Then we could use existing archives of internet data to determine if the person had any contact with anybody else who ever had contact with anybody who had contact with or knew anybody who any police agency thought might be a terrorist. That would give us a much better idea of the actual risk posed by the box of books.
Come to think of it, that there were books in the box confirms there may have been evil intent because books contain words, which are made up of letters, which can be used to form dangerous thoughts. Damn, I’m glad the police were on top of the security risk…there’s no telling what would have happened if somebody had randomly opened that box and read those books.
Where do you think the boys in blue (or brown or black) are going to get the skills they’ll need if there ever is an actual bomb in our capital city?
Note how the whole incident and its extended pointless impact on Main St. businesses was driven by the use of relatively recently acquired technology. That whole, “Well, we’ve already got the robot out, might’s well get some practice and have some fun with it,” idea.
The tech apparently matters much more in such situations than the actual wellbeing of the people being ‘protected.’ Thus the use of the tech well after the box was shown to be bombless.
Ah, yes, that’s just what you said, Wes.
I hope you and other businessfolk are complaining loudly and persistently to the Police and any oversight body and the local press.
NanuqFC
Men have become the tools of their tools. ~ H.D. Thoreau
Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts,
I really feel alone and isolated after May 2nd. I’d been planning to put all these Mother’s Day ‘Heart Bomb’ posters up all over Montpelier like the Valentine’s Day hearts, but after I saw all those cops and State cops and Homeland cops and Bomb Squad cops going ape-shit over that box of books, well, fuck it, I said, I don’t need this. I only wanted to do something cool for Mother’s Day and maybe get my picture in The Bridge so a nice Mother would maybe want to date me, and then take me home for…you know. Ms. Lonelyhearts, how can I get people’s attention and maybe get laid too without winding up in Guantanamo?
signed,
Lonely & DESPERATE in Montpelier
Dear DESPERATE,
Don’t DO anything DESPERATE. A HEART BOMB was stupid enough. You’re living in Montpelier, Vt. fer Chrissake. Anything strange can be taken as an attempt to ‘traumatize’ the community. A lot of ‘sensitive’ people live here. Are you the guy who stands out front of the Hunger Mountain Co-Op smoking cigarettes? If you are, you should be looking for a lawyer, not a woman. Oh…forgot. All the lawyers shop at the Co-Op. My advice then is to move to Morrisville.
Ms. Lonelyhearts
Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts,
I’m new here in Montpelier, Vt., but where I come from, what we’d do for fun on a Saturday night (early Sunday morn) is put up posters all over town of OJ Simpson with a caption that said: “The REAL KILLERS Are Still Out There–Watch Out!” Then we’d watch all the church people freak out. Is that considered Terrorism here?
signed,
Another Way
Dear Another,
Hell, you can do better than that. How about posters of Charlie Manson that say: “LIVE FRIDAY NIGHT AT CITY HALL!–ACID IS GROOVY!” The cops will love you. And hey, don’t fuck with the parking meters. That’s a SHOOT TO KILL offense now in Montpelier.
Ms. Lonelyhearts
Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts,
I’m a Political Activist. I graduated from Goddard as a PROFESSIONAL Political Activist. I want to make a statement about the War in Afghanistan, so I plan on going on a HUNGER STRIKE. I want to be visible, so where in downtown Montpelier can I sit without being attacked by robots?
signed,
Vigil Bob
Dear Vig,
Well, best place I can think of is to sit in one of the crosswalks on State Street or Main Street on a weekday before 4pm. They’re not going to bring out any robots into the street to get you. They’d get run down and destroyed by the very important people who drive through those crosswalks every day talking on their cell phones. Do you have life insurance? Good luck to you. A HUNGER STRIKE VIGIL. I like it. I’ll look for your obit in the TA.
Ms. Lonelyhearts
Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts,
I’m sick of all this Nazi shit and all this Politically Correct shit. I’m going to do something about it. And I ain’t talking about no goddamn box of books either. I’m talking about a box of the most disgusting and terrifying things that bin Laden himself should have thought of using instead of those planes. I’m talking about a box of all my Neil Diamond CDs. I’m talking about an outfit I rigged up to play them too from inside the box. Over and over again. And they won’t be able to do a damn thing about it, cause when those Neil Diamond CDs come on, the Montpelier cops won’t want to go near that box. They’ll have to evacuate the town and call in the Air Force!
signed,
Cracklin’ Cherry Cherry I’m Bustin’ My Terrorist Cherry For You With A Song Sung Blue
Dear Cracked,
Holy Shit! Now that is Terrorism. You are a very sick person. Obama’s going to put you on his Kill List if you do that. Even I am appalled. I must appeal to your humanity. Please consider the innocent children. They should not be exposed to that. Hell, even Charlie Manson and OJ don’t deserve that. Neil Diamond! I could justify using Neil Diamond against Hitler maybe, but, My God Man, THINK before you do this. I mean, that’s worse than something those North Koreans want to send over here in their missiles. And what about Mother Earth? Hasn’t She taken enough shit from us? You play Neil Diamond CDs and I guarantee you, Mother Earth will say: “Okay, that’s it! You’re all DEAD!” I’m sending your email to the Feds. You Must Be Stopped!
Ms. Lonelyhearts,
Dear Ms. Lonelyhearts,
Hey, how’s come they didn’t use drones too on that box of books? I think that would have been cool. I’m gonna leave a garbage bag of perch on the Montpelier City Hall steps. That’ll get the drones out. I catch twenty or thirty of the fuckers every other day and usually dump a garbage bag of them every other day along the nice country roads in Stowe and Charlotte, or any nice country roads anywhere I drive. Heh-Heh. Perch, man. Who needs bombs?
signed,
Perch Man Looking For Perch Lady
Ms. Lonelyhearts,
What do you use for bait? Your dick, I hope.
That’s all for today, folks. More ADVICE TO MONTPELIER TERRORISTS later in the week on Facebook. Hope they get that guy with the box of Neil Diamnond CDs.