Breaking News…GMD…30 seconds ago…

Yes, it’s true.  An aging Fidel Castro announced today he wishes to see, what he called, “…the most socialist, yet yuppified and Gay state in the USA…Vermont!”

Castro explained:  “I’m going to die soon, so I want to see this Fall Foliage stuff, and maybe take a Winter horse-drawn sleigh ride in Stowe.  Comrade Colby has invited me up for September through January.  And I’m going.  Everything with the Comrades here is under control, and I want to see if I can learn some things about this whole Gay Movement, which we’ve been behind with in Cuba.  I’m going to Vermont.  Nobody is going to stop me.  

“In September, I will go bass fishing with Comrade Buknatski, and in October, I will watch the leaves turn RED.  I will go to the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier and drink good beer with Comrade Hamilton, and ask him if this Bernie Sanders can be trusted with his one man crusade against Wall Street and his attempts to single-handedly lift the American embargo on Cuba.

“I wish to ‘hang-out’ at the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington, and go to the Dowsers Convention in Danville.  And find out if it is true that this other place in Montpelier, Charlie Os, actually serves Cuban Rum disguised in Bacardi bottles.

“And, in November, I want to go Catamount hunting with this rich asshole Governor they have there, Peter Shumlin, and try to understand why Vermonters elected him instead of Comrade Diamondstone.  

“I wish to learn much, and return to Cuba with a pledge of investments for a Three Penny Taproom in Havana, and for all natural and organic Cuban Rum made from Hemp.  Did you know that we here in Cuba make everything from Hemp?  Even our Birth Control.  We also use Hemp to run our Internet here so that we don’t have to pay for Socialist Networking.

“I also plan in September a quick weekend trip to Boston to watch the Red Sox get beaten by the Yankees, or whatever team is in Boston then.  And I will be in the fields of Vermont come Harvest Season, picking Kale with my south-of-the-American-border Comrades, who will then, hopefully, be able to drive me to one of these Fish Concerts in Vermont without the Police State stopping us on the road and asking to see my papers.  I will take Comrade Buknatski along so he can explain to me how these Vermont bass and other fish got to be so musical.

“Because we don’t have skiing in Cuba because we have no snow, I will bring along my surfboard.  Also a skateboard.  And yes, also I plan on ‘borrowing’ many American Cigarettes, while not passing out any Cuban Cigars.  I will also partake of this Vigiling they do in Vermont for everything, and play the bongos in a surprise appearance with Abby Jenne & The Enablers.

“Over Christmas, I will help this Bill Doyle with his Town Meeting Poll for next March, to give it a hipper, more Revolutionary list of questions, such as: ‘Do you think Vermont should secede from the Union and form an International Workers’ CO-OP and Peoples’ Nirvana with Cuba, Venezuela, Jamaica, and Seattle?’.  I also plan to do much relaxing indoors, as I understand the weather up in Vermont mostly sucks.

“That is all I have to say at this time.  I will see you later.  Perhaps at that Grand Opera House they have in Barre.

“Oh, and one more thing.  To let you know, I originally thought that the Carters who were coming to Cuba were Jimmy and Rosalynn.  It was to my surprise that they were black people and turned out to be this Beyonce celebrity and a hip-hop sports promoter named Jay-Z.  But it turned out good for us, as this Mr. Z said he will work on getting our Havana baseball team into the American Major Leagues.  Thank you.  And thank all you American Comrades for Baseball and drinking Cuban Rum.”

However, leading Republicans have called Castro’s planned visit to Vermont a violation of America’s long standing boycott on all things Cuban, and an attempt, with the help of the entire State of Vermont, to finalize President Obama’s “socialist coup.”

Senator Millard Pissant of Florida said that Castro’s visit will include the delivering of President Obama’s “real birth certificate” that will show, Pissant said, “that Barack Obama was born on a hillside camp in the Sierra Maestra, just like in that great movie, The Manchurian Candidate.  I therefore call on all Americans,” Pissant continued, “to help us in impeaching this RAPING of our American Way Of Life!  What started with Desi Arnaz and I Love Lucy has now become Ba-Ba-Loo Bama and I Love Vermont.  Monstrous.  Unbelievable.  I mean totally…RAPACIOUS!”

This story will be updated here once we hear from Michael Colby in Walden, who, we understand, is now busy ‘networking’ with, as he calls them, a bunch of Lib-er-al Fucks who want to know how much Colby will charge them to have their pictures taken with Castro in the horse-drawn sleigh and then posted on FACEBOOK.

We now return you to your Social Networking…….

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

Breaking News…GMD…30 seconds ago…

Yes, It’s true.  An aging Fidel Castro announced today he wishes to see, what he called, “…the most socialist, yet yuppified and Gay state in the USA…Vermont!”

Castro explained:  “I’m going to die soon, so I want to see this Fall Foliage stuff, and maybe take a Winter horse-drawn sleigh ride in Stowe.  Comrade Colby has invited me up for September through January.  And I’m going.  Everything with the Comrades here is under control, and I want to see if I can learn some things about this whole Gay Movement, which we’ve been behind with in Cuba.  I’m going to Vermont.  Nobody is going to stop me.  

“In September, I will go bass fishing with Comrade Buknatski, and in October, I will watch the leaves turn RED.  I will go to the Three Penny Taproom in Montpelier and drink good beer with Comrade Hamilton, and ask him if this Bernie Sanders can be trusted with his one man crusade against Wall Street and his attempts to single-handedly lift the American embargo on Cuba.

“I wish to ‘hang-out’ at the Church Street Marketplace in Burlington, and go to the Dowsers Convention in Danville.  And find out if it is true that this other place in Montpelier, Charlie Os, actually serves Cuban Rum disguised in Bacardi bottles.

“And, in November, I want to go Catamount hunting with with this rich asshole Governor they have there, Peter Shumlin, and try to understand why Vermonters elected him instead of Comrade Diamondstone.  

“I wish to learn much, and return to Cuba with a pledge of investments for a Three Penny Taproom in Havana, and for all natural and organic Cuban Rum made from Hemp.  Did you know that we here in Cuba make everything from Hemp?  Even our Birth Control.  We also use Hemp to run our Internet here so that we don’t have to pay for Socialist Networking.

“I also plan in September a quick weekend trip to Boston to watch the Red Sox get beaten by the Yankees, or whatever team is in Boston then.  And I will be in the fields of Vermont come Harvest Season, picking Kale with my south-of-the-American-border Comrades, who will then, hopefully, be able to drive me to one of these Fish Concerts in Vermont without the Police State stopping us on the road and asking to see my papers.  I will take Comrade Buknatski along so he can explain to me how these Vermont bass and other fish got to be so musical.

“Because we don’t have skiing in Cuba because we have no snow, I will bring along my surfboard.  Also a skateboard.  And yes, also I plan on ‘borrowing’ many American Cigarettes, while not passing out any Cuban Cigars.  I will also partake of this Vigiling they do in Vermont for everything, and play the bongos in a surprise appearance with Abby Jenne & The Enablers.

“Over Christmas, I will help this Bill Doyle with his Town Meeting Poll for next March, to give it a hipper, more Revolutionary list of questions, such as: ‘Do you think Vermont should secede from the Union and form an International Workers’ CO-OP and Peoples’ Nirvana with Cuba, Venezuela, Jamaica, and Seattle?’.  I also plan to do much relaxing indoors, as I understand the weather up in Vermont mostly sucks.

“That is all I have to say at this time.  I will see you later.  Perhaps at that Grand Opera House they have in Barre.

“Oh, and one more thing.  To let you know, I originally thought that the Carters who were coming to Cuba were Jimmy and Rosalynn.  It was to my surprise that they were black people and turned out to be this Beyonce celebrity and a hip-hop sports promoter named Jay-Z.  But it turned out good for us, as this Mr. Z said he will work on getting our Havana baseball team into the American Major Leagues.  Thank you.  And thank all you American Comrades for Baseball and drinking Cuban Rum.”

However, leading Republicans have called Castro’s planned visit to Vermont a violation of America’s long standing boycott on all things Cuban, and an attempt, with the help of the entire State of Vermont, to finalize President Obama’s “socialist coup.”

Senator Millard Pissant of Florida said that Castro’s visit will include the delivering of President Obama’s “real birth certificate” that will show, Pissant said, “that Barack Obama was born on a hillside camp in the Sierra Maestra, just like in that great movie, The Manchurian Candidate.  I therefore call on all Americans,” Pissant continued, “to help us in impeaching this RAPING of our American Way Of Life!  What started with Desi Arnaz and I Love Lucy has now become Ba-Ba-Loo Bama and I Love Vermont.  Monstrous.  Unbelievable.  I mean totally…RAPACIOUS!”

This story will be updated here once we hear from Michael Colby in Walden, who, we understand, is now busy ‘networking’ with, as he calls them, a bunch of Lib-er-al Fucks who want to know how much Colby will charge them to have their pictures taken with Castro in the horse-drawn sleigh and then posted on FACEBOOK.

We now return you to your Social Networking…….

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.