I’ve got to hand it to John MacGovern. A lesser man would have been discouraged by the absolute whomping he absorbed at the hands of Bernie Sanders last November. But not our hapless Republican nominee, no sirree bob. Like Wile E. Coyote reaching for the Acme catalog after blowing himself up, MacGovern has emerged from the crater of his campaign and is ready to continue the fight against Bernie’s Socialist perfidy.

But to do that, ahem, he’ll need your help.

See, somehow this true-blue fiscal conservative ended his no-hoper Senate campaign $35,000 in the red, according to Federal Election Commission reports. (Must have been all those Acme orders.)

That’s $35,000 out of a total budget of $150,000. Oops.

So yeah, he needs your help.

This month, MacGoo has sent not one, but two fundraising appeals to everyone on his donor list.

The first is a garden-variety money pitch that includes this intriguing promise:

Right now, I am busy getting ready to re-enter the arena and continue the battle we began last year.

See, losing to Bernie by a 71-25 margin was Phase One of his cunning plan. And as soon as he pays off his outstanding balance with Acme Corporation, he’ll be ready to launch Phase Two.

But — and stop me if you’ve heard this — to do that, he’ll need your help.

The brief fundraiser includes the standard artificially-generated urgency:

At the end of the month, I have to report how much money I have raised to retire my debt.  Will you stand with me as I work to meet this critical deadline?

And if we do Stand With MacGoo, what will he do?  

Well, here’s what: He’ll fight against that old shibboleth, the United Nations Small Arms Treaty that’ll allow the One World Militia to invade your home and confiscate your guns!

No, really. That’s the pitch in MacGoo’s second letter, which begins with the big bold headline: “Under the cover of night, at 3am (sic) in the U.S. Senate…”  And continues thusly:

Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) introduced an amendment to the first Senate budget in 4 years which would STOP the U.S. from signing on to the U.N. Small Arms treaty.  Although the Senate PASSED the amendment (53-46), prohibiting us from surrendering our rights to the UN, Vermont’s own Bernie Sanders cast his vote in SUPPORT of the UN and against the rights of gun owners in Vermont and throughout our great nation.

Sanders is spitting in the face of Vermont gun owners who once helped to elect him!  Not only did he vote in favor of greater restrictions on guns, including the possibility of full registration, but in the same vote he showed his support of yielding U.S. Sovereignty to the United Nations.

And then the pitch: “Please help me to get the word out by making a quick donation!”

Shameless, absolutely shameless.

But then, MacGoo is a veteran practitioner of this peculiarly right-wing scam: Supporting himself by convincing credulous rich people to “help him fight” sone imaginary battle. See, back in 2002, MacGoo founded The Hanover Institute, a nonprofit organization designed to stir up conservative Dartmouth alums about the liberal perfidy of college administrators. (You know, like admitting female students or dropping the “Indians” name for its athletic teams.) Or, as the Institute oh-so inartfully described itself in its 2010 IRS filing:

As you can see, if you can read the incompetently-typed small print, the Institute’s real mission was circular in nature: (1) getting donors to underwrite the costs of (2) MacGoo’s salary and expenses and (3) distributing “information” aimed at (1) getting donors to underwrite the costs of (2) MacGoo’s salary… lather, rinse, repeat.

The Institute filed a couple of high-profile lawsuits against Dartmouth College in 2005 and 2007, and lost ’em both. A promised third lawsuit never materialized. The Hanover Institute appears to be defunct; its website is offline, and it hasn’t filed with the IRS since 2010. Presumably the rich alumni got wise to the scam, so John moved to the next one: “fighting” Bernie Sanders and the One World Government.

Well, y’know, a guy’s gotta make a living.

So if you’ve got some extra cash lying around, and don’t feel like setting it on fire or throwing it down a rat hole, might I remind you that John MacGoo needs your help?