I think Deb Markowitz nailed this one.

After the meeting, Markowitz said that it was interesting that within two weeks the Statehouse had been visited by the president of the Portland-Montreal pipeline and Alberta officials.

“It just shows that the pipeline matters,” she said.

The subject is this week’s visit to Montpelier by Alberta’s environmental minister Diana McQueen. She stopped by to deliver some reassuring words, and glossy brochures, about her province’s abundant and carbon-heavy tar sands oil, whose producers are desperately seeking an outlet to the ocean — any ocean will do — so they can export the stuff. One possible route, as we know, is the existing Portland-Montreal Pipeline, whose CEO Larry WIlson has twice visited Montpelier to tout his company’s safety record.

For an important executive who travels with a sharp-suited posse, WIlson outwardly displayed great patience as he waited through legislative delays and other people’s testimony to deliver his message. So yes, as our Natural Resources Secretary noted, this parade of the high and mighty to the nation’s smallest state capitol is a clear display of their desire for a route to the sea. And, it should be noted, McQueen’s delegation also made a stop in Portland on its “Sunshine and Tar Sands” tour. Which followed a weekend in Washington, D.C., buttonholing members of the National Governors Association on behalf of pipeline proposals through America. But no, they’re not desperate for a pipeline, not at all.

After the jump: inept attempts at reassurance.

McQueen, representing the conservative government of Canada’s most conservative province (often referred to as “the Texas of the north,” with its low taxes, oil-based economy, and rumblings of separatism), delivered her message of comfort with a tinge of condescension. (Photo: Still shot from a kinda creepy TV ad featuring McQueen’s talking head superimposed on a highway billboard.)

“We know that it’s an emotional issue as well, but we’re here just to let people know here’s the facts on it, here’s the data, and if you have questions we’re more than happy now or in the future to answer any of those,” she said.

Yeah, thanks, Diana, for dismissing concerns about toxic spills and global warming as “emotional.” Too bad we’re not all as rational as you are.

Although many of us do have a firmer grasp of the English language:

“Our oil will be having many markets,” said McQueen. “Certainly into the United States, the West Coast as well, Alaska’s another route that we’re working on, the East Coast, as well. We know that there will be many different routes and they’ll be over many different time frames, but we will develop our resource.”

Yogi Berra couldn’t have said it any plainer.

Now, let’s check in on the Albertans’ visit to Portland, whose port would be the terminus of a reversed pipeline carrying tar sands oil.

At a breakfast meeting Monday at the Portland Regency Hotel, McQueen said Alberta tar sands account for only a tiny percentage of greenhouse gas, and that the province has stringent industry regulations and monitoring protocols to minimize the danger of pipeline leaks.

Gosh, that’s nice. Completely irrelevant to concerns about pipeline spills outside Alberta, but nice.

[Portland City Councilor Dave] Marshall mentioned a much-publicized 2010 pipeline burst that spilled millions of gallons of tar-sands oil into the Kalamazoo River in Michigan. But that spill was unique and largely the result of operator error, said Tristan Sangret, another Alberta official at the meeting.

So, it was “unique” because “operator errors” never, ever happen. Except this once.

This is Alberta’s idea of reassurance?

Sangret also pooh-poohed concerns about the heavy, toxic nature of tar sands oil, which requires high temperatures and extra pressure to pump through a pipeline. He pointed out that the oil is diluted before it’s piped, so it’s the same viscosity as any heavy crude oil and well within the capability of, say, the Portland-Montreal Pipeline.

Which might be reassuring in terms of extra wear and tear on pipelines. But, as one environmental lobbyist pointed out to me, it doesn’t change the fact that when tar-sands oil is spilled, the diluting agents evaporate. What’s left is heavy, globby stuff that tends to sink. That’s why the 2010 Kalamazoo River spill has yet to be fully remediated, and likely never will be.

I have a feeling that the “Sunshine and Tar Sands” tour will turn out to have as little effect as Pipeline CEO Larry WIlson’s smug reassurances. I think our lawmakers are smart enough to take everything these oil advocates say with a few tons of salt. If anything, their all-out offensive may —  adding a sense of urgency to the drive to pass H.27, the bill that would make a tar-sands proposal for the Portland-Montreal Pipeline subject to the Act 250 process.

Note: I intended to explore the Albertans’s shiny happy brochure as part of this diary, but it’s already plenty long. So the brochure review will come as a separate post in the near future. Stay tooned!