Hi.  Click on this link, popesrus.god, and you will be able to nominate your choice for the next Pope.  We have a suggested list of candidates that includes Clint Eastwood, Donald Trump, Rand & Ron Paul, Sean Penn, Bob Dylan, Tim Tebow, Alex Rodriquez, Tiger Woods, Oliver Stone, and Chris(t) Christie, to name a few.  

However, you may write-in your own choice.  Like, say, Joe Biden or Robert DeNiro.  Wouldn’t it be cool to have Robert De Niro as Pope?  “Are you lookin’ at me?!” he’d say to the crowds in St. Peter’s Square.

Please include all your personal identifications, phone numbers (both home & work), where you bank, where you pray (or drink), whether you own a gun or guns, how many children you have and their ages and sex, the names and information on at least three friends or references, and what other blogsites you saw this contest notice on.

BECAUSE–If your choice for Pope actually becomes Pope, you will win a LIFETIME SUPPLY of Catholic Holy Water, as used by the Vatican and Monsanto.  Please get your entries in by Feb.28.

You may also add a line or two explaining your choice for Pope.  For example: “I think Joe Blow, a sex offender recently relocated into my neighborhood, would make a great Pope because then I won’t have to move my family to Vermont.”  or:  “I could see Big Daddy Kane as Pope cause didn’t he do a “fuk ya up da ass” song, or was that WC? He’s cool too.”  or;  “I choose Ralph Nader as Pope because then he could show that it was GOD who made a fucked-up product–The World–and not me.”

And remember, whoever the next Pope is will probably want to meet with you and your partner and your children.  People with no children are prohibited from entering this contest.  Thank you.