Poor ol’ Six Teats. Not only is he a gigantic underdog to incumbent Attorney General Bill Sorrell, now the state’s court system is conspiring against him. Yesterday, he filed an emergency request for a court hearing on evidence-free allegations that Sorrell colluded with a national Super PAC during the Democratic primary campaign this summer.

Today, the court set a hearing date.

On Thursday, November 8.

Jack, of course, reacted with all the taste and discretion characteristic of your 2012 VTGOP.  

“It’s conveniently two days after the election,” McMullen said. “I can’t help but wonder if that’s a coincidence or not.”

Yeah, Jack. Jeb Spaulding slipped a couple Benjamins to the court clerk, and the docket mysteriously and suddenly “filled up” for the next four days.

McMullen joins the august company of VTGOP Chair “Angry Jack” Lindley and Republican candidate for Treasurer Wendy Wilton in the Republican tinfoil hat brigade.  

As you may recall, after the August primary, Lindley implied collusion between the Progressives and Democrats to keep Annette Smith off the ballot, and implicitly accused Secretary of State Jim Condos of corruption. And on October 25, Wilton accused the Vermont Municipal Bond Board of malfeasance, implying that it had put Rutland on its “watch list” as part of a plot to undermine her candidacy.

Back to their new partner-in-tinfoil, Jack McMullen. Either he is woefully uninformed about how the court system works (not something you want in a prospective Attorney General), or he never really wanted disposition of his complaint before Election Day. Court system ain’t a barbershop, where you walk in, read an old Sports Illustrated for a few minutes, and then get your hair cut.

Let’s recap, shall we? The Democratic primary was August 28. The alleged collusion took place before then. The idea of collusion was first floated by Sorrell’s challenger, TJ Donovan, during the primary campaign. At the time, Donovan acknowledged that he had no evidence, just a suspicion.

In September, Lindley demanded an independent inquiry into the alleged collusion. The Governor and Attorney General told him to follow procedure and ask a State’s Attorney of his choice to investigate. Lindley did so, choosing Addison County State’s Attorney David Fenster — who was appointed to the office by, ahem, Republican Governor Jim Douglas. Fenster is still mulling over the request. (Oh no… they… got to him, too!)

And then, on October 31, four business days before Election Day, McMullen files his emergency request. Did he just happen to remember all this stuff on Wednesday? Why didn’t he start this process earlier if he really wanted answers before the election?

Nah. As I said before, Six Teats doesn’t want answers. He wants to be able to ask politically damaging questions. We refer to the oft-repeated tale about one of Lyndon Johnson’s Texas campaigns, when he supposedly told an aide to spread a rumor that his opponent enjoyed carnal relations with pigs.

“C’mon, Lyndon,” the aide said. “You know he’s not a pigfucker.”

“I know,” Johnson replied. “But let’s make the son-of-a-bitch deny it.”