In case you were thinking that Republican rabidity was limited to the likes of H. Brooke Paige, allow me to turn your attention to the latest eruption from “Angry Jack” Lindley, chair of the hapless and hopeless Vermont Republican Party.

In an e-mail to VTGOP supporters, Jack went all Captain Queeg over a single damaged “Brock for Governor” yard sign. I repeat: One… Yard… Sign. As reported by Paul Heintz at Seven Days, he laid blame for the dastardly deed squarely at the feet of our Governor.

“In so many ways what you see is symbolic of what is wrong in Vermont. And wrong about Governor Shumlin,” he wrote. “The arrogance of power. His ‘my way or the highway’ mentality; his arrogant refusal to listen to the ideas of others; his refusal to debate Randy Brock.”

Err, Jack, he didn’t refuse to debate Randy Brock; in fact, as you might recall, he’s already done it once. But when you’re in the throes of Republican Conspiracy Fever, you have no time for subtleties. Indeed, when Angry Jack was reached for comment, he took the accusation even further:

“I don’t know if this is something being put on by the Democrat party or what it is,” he said. “Obviously the command and control is the guy running for governor. And his staff and his reelection campaign. I’m really disappointed in them.”

I can just see it now: Peter Shumlin ordering one of his lackeys to drive out to wherever this single lawn sign was posted, and rip it down the middle. (Probably a union employee working on the taxpayer’s dime.)

The wrecking of one single sign was a masterful touch on Shumlin’s part — just enough to send Lindley into a foaming rage, but too subtle for anyone else to discern the Democratic — er I mean “Democrat” — plot.  

But wait — Jack’s not finished yet. From his e-mail:

“This is how someone chose to show their respect for Randy Brock, an African-American Vietnam veteran who earned a Bronze Star, a self-made businessman who rose from blue color [sic] roots and a man who served as Vice-Chairman of the United States Military Academy at West Point.”

Yeah, pull out all the cards. Race, yep; self-made “blue color” (ahem) businessman, yep; military veteran, yep. Oh, the perfidy of Vermont Democrats! And Angry Jack is the only one who sees through the fog of Democratic — er, “Democrat” — lies. And Angry Jack will not rest until he finds out who stole his strawberr — that is, damaged a single yard sign.

Good grief.