The all-in-color-for-a-buck Burlington Free Press has devoted a fair bit of its Incredible Shrinking Newshole to the Democratic primary for AG, as indeed it must. And so, as they always do, the paper’s editors decided they had to provide a bit of coverage to the other guy — you know, the Republican.

Er, that would be businessman, entrepreneur, and two-time loser Jack “Six Teats” McMullen.

The story has him waiting “impatiently in Vermont’s political wings” so he can get on with the business of losing badly to the Democratic nominee.

Well, no, the story doesn’t say that. Not in so many words, at least.

On the streets of Vermont communities, you will hear people talk about how the Democratic primary is the real race for attorney general, with the winner likely to prevail over McMullen.

“I know a lot of people think that,” McMullen acknowledged. He said he hopes to prove them wrong.

You know, I’m a real hard-core political junkie. But I have to admit, I have never, ever, not even once, heard people talk about the race for AG on the streets of Vermont communities.

Back to Jack. He is critical of the lack of prosecution over the Burlington Telecom mess, and of the state’s concern with the labeling of Cabot cheese. He talks about fighting drugs, and slams the Legislature’s attempt to set conditions on Vermont Yankee’s continued operation as “vindictive” and a “bad law.”

And then he is reminded that good ol’ Jim Douglas actually signed that bill into law. To which his response was, (a) admitting he didn’t know that, and (b) asserting that Douglas was “badly advised.” Probably his advisors slipped the VY bill into a big pile of papers and told Jim to sign ’em all. It’d be just like Lunderville to pull a stunt like that.

After the jump: journalistic implications of hopelessness.

And then there are three passages — artfully framed, methinks, by Terri Hallenbeck and Nancy Remsen, to convey the hopelessness of the McMullen campaign without actually saying so — make it clear that McMullen is not really taking this whole “running for attorney general” thing seriously. Or, at least, he’s only just begun to take it seriously.

McMullen said he’s been traveling the state, talking to experts on various issues, from business people in Bennington to the Corrections commissioner.

Translation: “Well, I’m running for AG. Guess I’d better put on a show of learning the issues.”

…[McMullen] said he’s cranking up his campaign team with four staffers and raising money. He had nothing to report in the way of money at the July filing deadline but said he’ll have $20,000 to $25,000 amassed by the next deadline this Wednesday.

Oh, good. At least he will have raised more money than the likes of John MacGovern and Mark Donka. I wait with bated breath to see how much of that 20 G’s is coming from Jack’s own wallet.

McMullen, who ran twice unsuccessfully for U.S. Senate, has both a law degree and a master’s in business administration, but he’s not a member of the Vermont bar. That wouldn’t prevent him legally from being attorney general, but McMullen appears to know it’s a hindrance to persuading voters. He said he’s working on the process of being admitted to the bar in Vermont, as he is in Massachusetts and New York.

Well, that’s nice to hear. Good of Jack to start “working on the process” of becoming a Vermont lawyer, after a solid three months of campaigning for AG. And what, exactly, does “working on the process” mean?

The Freeploid also puts the knife in by recapping McMullen’s disastrous candidacy for US Senate — er, ahem, the first of his two disastrous candidacies for US Senate — which he lost badly to the late lamented Fred Tuttle. And just to be fair, they quote Jack’s explanation for his embarrassing defeat: “he thinks forces conspired to turn his story from that of a successful entrepreneur… into a carpetbagger from Massachusetts…”

Oh, those forces. Those evil, unnamed, dark forces. I feel them beginning to conspire against Jack McMullen once again.

And when he loses, we’ll know who to blame: the forces.