(Romney’s Turn Today)

Yahoo Celebrity News…20 minutes ago

Ann Romney turned heads this morning at a fundraiser in Parma, Ohio, showing up in a revealing low-cut mini-dress.

“It’s the New Look,” she told her husband’s supporters.  It’s all over the NET every day.  Power Women are showing their stuff.  I have a Daisy Duke outfit I’m saving for October.”

But, it wasn’t just the dress.  When Ms. Romney briefly removed her sunglasses, you could plainly she her right eye had a good sized shiner.

“Oh, it’s nothing,”  she later told reporters outside.  “Mitt has this sense of humor, you know.  Like with the dog.  And that prep-school gay kid.  He’s always goofing around, trying to make me laugh.  He sometimes likes to play Humphrey Bogart and give me a sock on the jaw and say:  ‘Here’s looking at you, kid.’  It makes me laugh.  Really.  In fact, I was laughing so hard when he went into his shtick I guess I threw off his punch and caught it in the eye.  That made us both hysterical.”

When Amy Goodman of Democracy Now asked Romney a long loaded question about her husband’s seemingly violent and sadistic side and how as President he would be able to control that, Ms. Romney replied:

“There’s not a violent or sadistic bone in Mitt’s body.  He just has a…well, special sense of humor.  He loves goofing around imitating Hollywood tough guys.  And he’s great at pranks.  He’s got a good prank set up for October.  And, let me tell you, Amy, after he’s elected he’s going to have the Chinese and Russians in stitches.  Not to mention all those folks down at Guantanamo.”

Ms. Romney then told reporters not to take seriously a new story being told by a few of her husband’s college friends.  That, in college, Romney liked to stroll the backstreets of Provo, Utah carrying the Book of Mormon and a gallon can of gasoline, finding drunks and convincing them he was Joseph Smith there to baptize them.

“He never said he was Joseph Smith,”  Ms. Romney explained.  “He told them he was Brigham Young.  Please don’t distort this.  I’ve got to go now.  I need to ice this eye on the way to Toledo.  Oh.  That reminds me of another prank of Mitt’s.  Oh…he’s so funny.  I’ll tell you about it sometime.”

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.

(Hey Mitt, you big Republican asswipe, when you lose in November, I guess you maybe could become a celebrity barber.)