And yes, I know that this category is renowned for its tough competition. But I think we have a winner here. And of course it comes from Florida.
If Tampa’s proposed rules for the Republican National Convention are passed, protesters could not bring squirt guns into a designated protest zone.
But they could bring real guns if they have concealed weapons permits.
That’s right. Squirt guns evil… real guns okay. Why? It seems that Florida state law doesn’t allow local authorities to restrict guns in any way. (Thanks, ALEC and NRA!)
Now, inside the convention itself, you can’t carry a gun. That’s because the Secret Service is in charge there, and they don’t take none of this sh*t.
After the jump: sticks, umbrellas, string, and other tools of Satan.
Back to the city’s proposed restrictions, subject to approval by City Council on Thursday:
• Citywide, there would be a ban on carrying pieces of wood, hard tubes or anything else that could be used as a club, as well as water guns, super soakers, air guns, paintball guns, explosives, switchblades, hatchets, slingshots, brass knuckles, Mace, chains, crowbars, hammers, shovels, or any container containing urine, fecal matter or other bodily fluid.
• In the Clean Zone [which includes a big chunk of the city around the convention site], the ban would be expanded to prohibit ropes, straps, tape or string longer than 6 inches, glass containers, ceramic vessels, light bulbs, padlocks and bicycle locks, things that could be used as portable shields and gas masks.
• Inside the protest area, the ban would be expanded still further to prohibit aerosol cans, camping gear, coolers and ice chests, fireworks, lasers, bottles, cans, thermoses, sticks, poles, ladders and umbrellas with metal tips.
And here’s where Florida makes the logic machine go all smoky-sparky. They can’t ban firearms, but they still want to ban all this other stuff. Light bulbs? Coolers? Sticks? Squirt guns? And my personal fave, “any container containing urine, fecal matter or other bodily fluid.” (The Red Cross had better keep its distance. And whatever you do, don’t go to the hardware store during the convention!)
So, keep this in mind, members of Occupy GOP Convention: better leave your super soaker at home, but feel free to pack heat.
To bear arms. It’s in the constitution. Nowhere did our gun toting fore fathers say that you can have an abortion or shop for light bulbs. Much less carry a tube or a piece of rope.
They will be extending that supreme court strip search decision to include protest zones before long.
And remember: guns don’t kill people, jars of fecal materials do. (I hope there is an Andres Serrano retrospective going on that week)
Goes along with other conservative “logic”: protect women by taking away their choices, help poor people by funneling more money to the rich, liberate countries by bombing them into ruble, protect the environment by doing away with regulation, encourage alternate energy by subsidizing oil companies, end “terrorism” by ramping up the very programs and actions that create terrorists, encourage “state’s rights” and local control by centralizing agencies and programs like education…
This nation has gone over the edge of sanity.
Well, I’m on a cane, so I guess I’d get arrested. What about someone in a wheelchair–yeah, those motorized ones could be used to ‘ram’ a candidate. Are PIES restricted? If not, this is a big fuck-up. How about little kids. You can pick them up and throw them at a candidate–lethal. Also, what about eye glasses? Remember in Godfather III………….