( – promoted by mataliandy)

After putting aside bills dealing with topics such as “death with dignity,” marijuana decriminalization, and the right of child care providers to unionize, Senate President Pro Tem John Campbell brought Senate Bill 040112 to the floor for fast-track consideration this week.

“It’s high time we stopped talking about those other bills,” Campbell noted. “They bug the living crap out of me.”

“SB 040112, on the other hand, addresses the real goals Vermonters sent us to the State Senate to tackle.”

SB 040112 calls for the images of Senator Campbell, along with Senators Vince Illuzzi and Dick Mazza, to be carved into the face of Camel’s Hump. (Note: After debate on the floor, it was decided that Senator Dick Sears could be included as well, but at a slightly smaller scale, and placed slightly below the others).

The bill did need to clear several committees, such as Natural Resources and Appropriations. After committee chairs expressed “concern” over the bill publicly, they all passed it through their respective committees with unanimous approval in a record 45 minutes.

Although the bill passed easily on a 28-2 vote, there were two moments during the floor discussion where injuries were reported. When the bill was first introduced on the floor, several Senators were mildly injured when Senator Ashe sprinted to the podium to be the first to co-sponsor it.

Also, several members of the news media had to be rushed to the emergency room for acute eye injuries, that occurred when freshman Senators Peter Galbriath and Philip Baruth rose to speak against the bill, causing the press corps to roll their eyes vigorously at the two new members’ naivete and presumption.

Senator Mazza expressed his concern for the injured reporters and suggested he may propose legislation requiring Baruth and Galbraith to pay their medical bills, as well as attend all future Senate sessions dressed as clowns.

After the Senate vote, Senator Illuzzi could not be reached for comment, as he was busy making angry calls to the employers and friends of those Vermonters who showed up to oppose the legislation.