Having posted a couple of diaries about Bruce Lisman’s websi — er, sorry, the Campaign for Vermont’s website, starring Bruce Lisman, directed by Bruce Lisman, written by Bruce Lisman, Executive Producer Bruce Lisman, but having nothing whatsoever to do with promoting Bruce Lisman, heaven forfend* — I thought I’d spend a little time with the website of Vermont’s number-one actual Republican candidate for high office. Ahem, Randy Brock.

*I just stopped by Bruce’s — er, sorry, the Campaign for Vermont’s website, and see that they’ve done a bit of housecleaning. Replaced their ubiquitous photo of an oddly unfocused Bruce with a more forceful image of Bruce in a suit speaking into a microphone. They also pushed the photo further down the page so it’s not the first thing you see. And they replaced the banner image of Bruce in his L.L. Bean gear with stock photos of happy people doing interesting things, in an apparent attempt to mildly de-Brucify the site. Could it be that somebody at Lisman headqua — er, the Campaign for Vermont — is reading GMD and responding to our critiques? I blush.

Sad to say, compared to the relative professionalism of the CfV website, Randy Brock’s is a study in weaksauce. It looks like a generic “Candidate Website” template from GoDaddy.com or something. (I certainly hope he didn’t pay a web designer. If so, he should demand a refund.) The banner features a waving American flag; Brock’s campaign logo in red, white and blue; and a photo of Randy looking almost alive and a bit constipated. (Couldn’t they get him to smile?) All told, the very model of a Generic Candidate Banner.

The website is strikingly thin on content. I count eight pages, most of them very brief. Four of the pages are stock items like “Get Involved” and “Contribute.” Click the “Tell a Friend” button and it generates an e-mail with a subject line “Elect Randy Brock” and a message as follows:  

I thought you might be interested in reading more about Randy Brock. Randy is running for election as Governor of Vermont. I am urging all my friends and family to join me in supporting his campaign. We need his leadership, integrity, and independence.    Please take the time to learn more about Randy Brock and consider signing up for his email list. Visit his website at: http://www.RandyBrock.com

Inspiring. Almost as inspiring as the first two lines of his home page, under the headline “WELCOME”:

I am a candidate for Governor of the State of Vermont. I take that candidacy very seriously.

The man’s prose is incandescent. I must look away, ere my retinas burn.

After the jump: No news is no news, Salmon envy, and green incoherence.

The “News” page contains a single lonely link: to Randy’s campaign announcement on December 7. Guess he hasn’t made any news since then. Below that is a list of newspaper “Endorsements” — dating from his 2006 bid for re-election as Auditor.

The “Background” page features a short list of bullet points, the “highlights” of his excellent career, many of which are about auditing. Think he’s still pissed about losing to Tom Salmon?

The “Issues” page contains a measly 500 words of Republican boilerplate: lower taxes, more efficient government, growing the economy. I will point out three of the less awesome passages:

Under “Protecting Our Natural Resources,” he begins by saying “Vermont’s environment must be protected.” Having touched that base, he immediately pivots to permit reform, saying nothing further about protecting the environment.

Under “Making Healthcare Affordable,” he calls for encouraging competition and cutting waste, proudly citing his work as State Auditor in discovering “millions of dollars in fraud, waste, abuse and error in Medicaid alone.” Then he seems to take a swat at his successor Tom Salmon, saying “We have not done what we should to continue and expand these efforts.” Get on the stick, Tom!  

Brock ends his six-line healthcare paragraph with a call for a Marshall Plan on healthcare. But wait: wasn’t the Marshall Plan a massive expenditure of government funds? I’m confused.

Thirdly, there’s his “energy policy” paragraph, which mostly concerns Vermont Yankee. It then ends with the following sentence about green energy:

We need to continue to encourage the development of new, green initiatives maintain our position on the leading edge of innovation for new, green initiatives for cost-effective alternative energy sources.

Yikes. Apparently he doesn’t care enough about green energy to produce a coherent sentence on the subject.

Now, I realize that it’s early in the campaign cycle and Brock is just getting started. Well, he’d better hope so, anyway. But if his campaign website is anything to judge by, the Brock for Governor effort is off to a rocky start. And/or an underfunded one. Is Bruce Lisman hogging all the loot?

(Brock does also have a Facebook page. No Twitter, tho. The most recent Facebook entry was posted on February 4, a whole ten days ago. It says he’ll be at the Windson County Super Bowl Party. Yes, “Windson.”)