So the inexplicably popular IslamoSocialist Sen. Bernie Sanders is up for re-election this year, and the Republicans are looking for their David to take on this Goliath. Last week, it seemed like they’d found their man. But maybe not. Vermont Press Bureau:

Windsor Republican John MacGovern announced his bid against Sanders earlier this month. But his launch got a decidedly tepid response from GOP leaders, who hinted that a name-brand Republican might be waiting in the wings.

So they aren’t satisfied with a former Massachusetts State Representative and two-time losing candidate for Vermont State Senate who’s spent the last decade sponging off rich Dartmouth alumni with his bogus nonprofit The Hanover Institute.

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods ?

Where’s the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds ?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed ?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

Ever-louder rumblings about the emergence of another Republican challenger to Bernie Sanders have centered on one man: Kevin Dorn.

I  need a hero, I’m holding out for a hero ’till the morning light

He’s gotta be sure and it’s gotta be soon

And he’s gotta be larger than life, larger than life

Yes, the Man of Our Conservative Dreams, our Champion, our Hero: Kevin Dorn!

Kevin Dorn???

Yep, Kevin Dorn.

Er, ahem, you know, Secretary of Commerce under Jim Douglas? And before that, a lobbyist for the Home Builders and the Realtors?

Yeah, that guy.

We talked to Dorn today, and he confirmed he’s pondering a foray into electoral politics.

He won’t say right now whether he’s eying the U.S. Senate, a statewide office, or perhaps a seat in the Vermont Legislature.

I think Bonnie Tyler just walked offstage.

Kevin freakin’ Dorn.

Is this the Vermont GOP’s idea of “a name-brand Republican”? Sheesh. Much as I’d like to see the Republican Party become the Washington Generals of politics, that’s just sad.

Nothing against Kevin Dorn. I’m sure, in his own way, he’s a competent, accomplished guy. But y’know, it’s hard to see how Kevin Dorn is any bigger a name than John MacGovern, who has run multiple political campaigns and even won a few of ’em. And who has a whole bunch of rich Dartmouth alumni bankrolling his phony nonprofit, and might be able to dupe them into bankrolling a Senate candidacy.

The only real advantage Dorn has over MacGovern is that, in the minds of the VTGOP, he’s “one of us.” MacGovern is an interloper from the Upper Valley who’s done most of his work across the Connecticut, in Hanover. Dorn is our guy, a Douglas Administration insider and, according to the VPB, “a very close friend” of Brian Dubie. Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Now, in a big-picture sense, there ain’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two. Both are auditioning for a lead role — not in “David vs. Goliath,” but in “Bambi vs. Godzilla.”

But it says something about the cluelessness of today’s Vermont Republicans that they’d view Kevin Dorn as a big name. And it says something about the state of the party, that their only choices for U.S. Senate might be John MacGovern or Kevin Dorn.