This diary arose from my reading another GMD diary posted by “bmike” and entitled “Lions and Tigers and Bearcats, Oh My.” If you haven’t read it, I’ll wait here while you do so.

Okay, we’re back. The posting is about a controversy in the small city of Keene, New Hampshire (about 22,000 people), which is considering the purchase of an eight-ton, $300,000 armored vehicle, the Lenco Bearcat, with grant funding from the Department of Homeland Security. During a City Council meeting, the Mayor was heard whispering to a City Councilor “We’re going to have our own tank.”

That’s all covered in bmike’s diary, which links to a Huffington Post article on the issue.

In the HuffPo piece, there are several quotes from Jim Massery, the government sales manager for Lenco, based in Pittsfield MA. He says some pretty incredible stuff, at the outer boundary of “ethical” even by a salesman’s standards.

After the jump, my commentary on his pitch, and a closer look at Mr. Jim Massery.  

The deal has sparked significant opposition in the community, who rightly ask why a town with very little violent crime would need a military-style vehicle. Even if it’s “free” (your tax dollars at work!), the city will still be on the hook for maintenance and staffing. And they’ll be looking for reasons to use it, warranted or not.

The opposition irks Mr. Massery. All blockquotes below are his.

I don’t think there’s any place in the country where you can say, “That isn’t a likely terrorist target.” How would you know?

Oh, I think I know. A peaceful town in southwest New Hampshire, best known as the home of Keene State College. No high-profile targets whatsoever. Sure there’s a statistical possibility of a terrorist attack on Keene, but it’s vanishingly small. (And if there is a terrorist attack, what the hell do you think you’re going to accomplish with a single vehicle?)

Next, he tried to portray the eight-ton mini-tank as a messenger of peace.

When a Lenco Bearcat shows up at a crime scene where a suicidal killer is holding hostages, it doesn’t show up with a cannon. It shows up with a negotiator.

How about, “When a Lenco Bearcat shows up at a crime scene, the suicidal killer will fly into a panic and start shooting”? And besides, what suicidal killers? Keene has had a total of two murders — TWO — in the last thirteen years.

Opponents of the deal point to a marketing video produced by Lenco, which shows a camouflaged police team carrying assault weapons and conducting simulated combat maneuvers. At one point, they attach a battering ram to the front of the tank, use it to break down the door of a house, and shoot teargas inside. Mr. Massery?

The video is totally irrelevant. We used some Hollywood effects and slick marketing to promote our product. So what?

So why didn’t your marketing video portray a hostage negotiator talking down a suicidal madman? Because it’s an assault vehicle! It’s designed for heavy-duty military-style action! And because you’re trying to sell this thing to local officials with penis envy. “We’re going to have our own tank,” indeed.

All we do is make trucks. How the trucks are used after the police department gets them isn’t something we can control.

“Sure, I sell cocaine, but I don’t make my customers use the stuff.” No, you’re not responsible for what the cops do with your Doomsday Machine; you’re just responsible for upselling them a piece of dangerous equipment that’s completely unnecessary.

We have Bearcats in 90 percent of the 100 or so largest cities in America.

Yeah, so? Keene is the 1,556th biggest city in America. Go peddle your tanks to the top 1,000 before you come back to Keene.  

And finally…

This is going to happen. It has already happened. To resist now would bed like saying police officers should scrap the Glock and go back to the revolver.

Unfortunate thing to say in Ruger country. But aside from that, no, no, it’s not like that at all. Your comparison is absolute nonsense. There’s no comparing a gun with a mini-tank.

Having explored Jim Massery’s trail of marketing slime, I thought I’d look him up in The Google. And what do I find? He is a conservative Christian, a Rush Limbaugh fan, who believes that Barack Obama is trying to steal away our freedoms. He’s all riled up over big government, wasteful spending, and the size of the deficit.

Except, apparently, when it comes to giving huge bags of cash to small communities so they can buy armored vehicles they don’t need. Talk about waste, fraud and abuse. This is what the Tea Party should be protesting.

This guy is the government sales manager for Lenco. It is his job — his entire job — to convince communities to spend taxpayer dollars for unnecessary (and dangerous) equipment. In other words, if it wasn’t for big government, he wouldn’t have a job.

And forgive me, it’s been a while since I closely read the Gospels, but I don’t recall Jesus traveling in a tank.