If you have any very conservative friends whose heads you’d like to see explode, this may be the trick: per The Associated Press:
When Navy Lt. Gary Ross and his partner were searching for a place to get married, they settled on a site in Vermont, in part because the state is in the Eastern time zone.
That way, the two men were able to recite their vows before family and friends at the first possible moment after the formal repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Just after midnight Tuesday, the partners of 11 years were married.
There’s something chilling about living and working in an environment where you have to be completely silent and circumspect about extremely important aspects of your life. It creates a bitter chill on your world, one which creates unnecessary stress and is a form of psychological violence that can cause damage. It belongs in the dustbin of history and I’m hoping it stays there.
When I look at the men depicted in this story, I see two people who love each other and want to share their lives together. Today they were permitted by their government to enter into a legally recognized relationship that will no longer jeopardize their careers.
Now that’s CHANGE I can believe in.
As a young boy growing up in Vermont in the early 1970’s, I was raised in a socially conservative military family that practiced the Catholic religion dogmatically. I was taught by many of the people I loved and admired in my community; my sports coaches, civic leaders, and priests, to either pity or ridicule gay people. Whether it was through whispered childish jokes or overt physical harassment of those suspected of being “fags”, I learned that gay people could not, and would not, be tolerated.
It’s hard for me to believe that my father’s been dead for nearly 25 years. At times it’s as though it’s been forever, and at other times it feels as though it’s been but a blink. I recall on the day of my dad’s funeral that a representative of the U.S. Army draped an American flag over his coffin to honor his dedication, commitment and service to our country. As his eldest son, I felt great pride and sadness as they handed that flag over to my mother.
Much has changed in my life and the world since that day, but I suspect my father would be angrier at the cessation of “don’t ask, don’t tell” than he was at its implementation. To use an old cliché, he’d likely be “rolling in his grave”. To which I say;
“Roll on, dad; our world just passed you by.”
I HOPE that there will be more change and tolerance in the years ahead.
Arc. Long. Justice.
…it brought tears of joy to my eyes.
but still such a long way to go.
The military still won’t afford Lt. Ross’ new spouse his rightful benefits as the spouse of a man serving his country; nor will the couple enjoy the housing advantages etc. that the military bestows exclusively on married couples.