Put That Fucking Thing Away!!!

       (by Harry Dean Stanton)

cell phone ugly dildo dipshit asshole

can’t have a real live conversation

anymore cause calls and texts

keep coming not to mention

he’s in a big hurry today and he’s

a very important person he is

here in the library they lock

the bathroom door get out the phone

and make a few calls  busy busy

like to smash your little phone

to little pieces  make you eat them

cell phone All American asshole

almost got run over in the crosswalk

cause cell phone dildo is driving

as an afterthought and oops he gestures

so sorry I almost killed you but I had

to take this call  very very important

and you shouldn’t be walking anyway

where’s your car?  are you a terrorist?

sitting on the bench with a good book

along comes cell phone asshole

to stand and talk right there in front

of me like I want to hear his frigging

important conversation  like to beat

him to death with my cane  stick cell phone

up his ass which he probably does to himself  

all the time  phone sex being all the rage now

the All American need to appear more

important than life itself  your credit card

holding up the line at the corner store

and you talking on your teeny tiny phone

which is probably bigger than your dick

even if you knew how to fuck  and I’ll bet

even if you could it would be a quickie

cause you’d have all those calls coming

yes I want you dead cell phone dildo

dipshit asshole  I want to kill you with

my second hand smoke which you claim

is polluting the environment while you

yak it up on your little phone with some

other cell phone dipshit about the gadgets

you both bought at WalMart’s 4 am sale

you lowlife cell phone-aholic piece of shit

your IQ all in your clothes and a gadget

to do your thinking for you and probably

also wipe your ass for you when you go

to take a really runny one and make a call

I go to the bar for some action and start

talking to this babe and her phone goes off

she has to take this call  most very important

who the fuck is calling you here sister

the guy down at the other end of the bar?

I look around and everybody is on their goddamn

little teeny tiny phones  enough to make

a man drink but I can’t get one cause

the bartender is on his asshole little phone too

guess I’ll go talk to the pigeons cause at least

they listen but the fucking teenagers and

twenty-something shitheads have taken over

the benches again and guess what?  that’s

right  they’ll all talking on their teeny phones

about how life sucks and it ain’t worth

getting a job cause with global warming

we’ll all be dead soon and if that is so

I’ll bet when I get to Hell everyone there

will be talking on their teeny tiny dildo

dipshit asshole phones for all fucking eternity

nice  something to look forward to

now  put that fucking thing away!

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, VT.

and then there’s this one:

 The Predator Generation

(The aggressive cigarette-bumming style of the youth of Montpelier and America)

no we don’t have jobs

or intend to get them

or even look

you got an extra cigarette?

haven’t you heard old man

we’re the new lost generation

the new dharma bums

or just plain bums

worked for Kerouac

we’ve all read him

got any spare change?

these lattes cost a fortune

you old people have fucked-up

the country and the world

you’re makin’ the planet die

I wanted to be a CEO

now I’ll never even collect

fuckin’ Social Security

you got a cigarette for my friend?

hell I’m not goin’ to work

on some shit job

just to make you happy

might as well just hang

go on Food Stamps

do they have disability

for a guy my age?

didn’t think so

shit

yeah I could volunteer

to help change things

participate in real life

and all that bullshit

help the really needy

but they don’t have cigarettes

you got a light for this cigarette?

that’s a nice lighter

can I have it?

fuckin’A man life’s a bitch

I’d go back to school

but it all sucks

rather just hang here

maybe there’ll be a party

wanna come old man?

an old dude like you

would be a real trip

you’ve got the money

to buy the beer

the wine and the booze

and the cigarettes

you got another?

hey chill old man

I’ve got no fuckin’ future

you had yours

and you fucked-up mine

you fuckin’ owe me

this is a knife man

now gimme your wallet

and your cigarettes

fuckin’ old guy

too fuckin’ many of you

walkin’ around

with your money your jobs

and your cigarettes

you ought to learn

how to share

Peter Buknatski

Montpelier, Vt.