Bin Laden Deathapalooza pop quiz

(Because Caoimhin’s comment deserves to be fleshed out a bit… crossposted at Huffington Post)

It’s good to see that Osama bin Laden has been neutralized as a political force. Who would argue that that merits a celebration? Bringing Bin Laden to justice would also be worth celebrating, but it’s not clear to me that that’s what happened.

Maybe he went down shooting as we’re told, in which case there was no other way this could play out (don’t get me wrong – I’m not the conspiracy-theorist sort at all, just a bit…. jaded, I suppose). And certainly, a full-on trial would’ve been the security nightmare for the ages (although it’s hard to imagine that it ever would have come to that, given the Obama’s administration’s complete abdication of a constitutional criminal justice regime and his embrace of the Bush ends-driven military model).

But it’s also clear beyond question that a world without Osama bin Laden is a far better place under any metric than a world with him. So let’s go with that. And during this day of celebration, I think it’s time for a pop quiz on what we’ve learned:

Question 1. As it turns out, Osama bin laden was living in a:

A. Secret cave on the Afghan-Pakistini frontier.

B. Terrorist training camp.

C. Constantaly on the move under cover of darkness among sympathetic tribes.

D. His 1 million dollar home in the Islamabad suburbs.



Question 2. The country that bin Laden was found to be residing in was:

A. Iraq (where a war with a pricetag approaching $1 trillion dollars was undertaken to attack al qaida).

B. Afghanistan (where a war, with a pricetag slated to reach nearly $500 million by year end, was undertaken to attack al qaida).

C. Pakistan.



Question 3. The military force that took down Osama bin Laden was:

A. As many as (approximately) 188,000 international troops at any given time, deployed in a regime-changing landwar over 8 years, resulting in nearly 4800 coalition casualties with far more wounded.

B. As many as (approximately) 120,000 international troops at any given time, deployed in a regime-changing landwar over 10 years, resulting in approximately 2200 casualties with far more wounded.

C. A surgical strike by a small special ops team with minimal casualties over a 45 minute operation.



Bonus “Christian nation” question. Which of the following is not a real Bible verse?

A. “If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!” Psalm 139:19

B. “As I live, says the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from their ways and live.” Ezekiel 33:11

C. “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.” Proverbs 24:17

D. “Hey John, after you take revenge on that Pontius Pilate guy for nailing me to this thing, make sure you get the boys together for a serious street party.” John 19:25

15 thoughts on “Bin Laden Deathapalooza pop quiz

  1. Osama bin Laden did not cause the events of 9/11- the greed and arrogance of US foreign policy and capitalist economics deserves far more credit.  Let’s not forget that under Carter, Reagan, Bush I and Clinton (1980-1994) bin Laden was considered an ally of the US, receiving funding and training and directions from the CIA.

    He only became our Most Wanted criminal after choosing to kill men, women, and children not sanctioned by the Pentagon for death.

    And, finally, lets not forget that Osama claimed to have carried out an attack against the World Trade Center (at least in part) in hopes of destablizing the economy (as symbolized by the WTC and the financial sector).  The people who actually succeeded in that effort have known names and addresses and still work in office towers in Downtown Manhattan.  

  2. This guy’s been living in a 1 million dollar ‘vacation’ complex…for how long?  

    “Hey, who lives there, George?”

    “Hell, Laura, I don’t know.  It doesn’t say in the brochure here.  Maybe some Pakistani rock star.”

    “Well, I’d really like to know, George.”

    “Hell, Laura, I don’t know everything.  Fer Chrissake, we’re on vacation.  Just take a picture of it so we can have it on our slide show.” (mimicking: ‘Who lives there, George.  Jesus.’)

    “What was that, George?”

    “Nothing.  My cell phone.  Wait a minute.  Hello.  What?  Yeah, yeah, okay.”

    “Who was that, George?”  

    “Jesus Christ, Laura.  Will you quit the goddamned questions.  Some guy in that house there, I guess.  Said to me that we should move on.  He’s got a a bunch of people coming for a party and we’re blocking the driveway.  Let’s go.”

    “Where are we going now, George?”

    “Ah Hell.  Let me look in the brochure here.  Taliban Theme Park.  That sounds like fun.”

    “Do they have a killer whale there, George?”

    “Jesus, Laura.  You remind me of somebody on TV sometimes.

    “Who is…”

    “Come on.  This big guy coming looks like a security guard or something.”

Comments are closed.