A Very Bab Ballad

I am the very model of the modern gen’ral manager,

(I  couldn’t find a rhyme to use except for scarlet tanager.)

I know the ways to get the most from ev’ry workers’ salary;

My stingy style has landed me in Michael Moore’s rougues’ gallery!

I’m very well acquainted too with matters mathematical

Eliminating workers when the cost is problematical

In selling you my product I can turn on personality

Nevermind  the loopholes and those tiny technicalities.

Nevermind the loopholes and those tiny technicalities,

Nevermind the loophole and those tiny technicalities,

Nevermind the loopholes and those tiny technicali-ali-ties.

My loyalty belongs to those who think of themselves globally

I outsource  jobs and import gobs while compensated nobley.

In terms of being generous I think I do commendably

I may say “no” but offer prayers and end them all “amen-dably.”

When my bonus isn’t big enough to buy a yacht magestical,

It undermines my manhood like an undescended testicle.

I make it up by cheating on my unsuspecting lady-wife.

Expense account philandering has really perked-up my love life.

Expense account philandering has really perked-up my love life,

Expense account philandering has really perked-up my love life,

Expense account philandering has really perked-up my oh my love life.

We minimize new hirement, and emphasize retirement

When stockholders are restless we are not averse to firement

Shortsightedly we toddle on ignoring all contrarians

We can not see how open land can still remain agrarian.

I’m good at keeping government providing lots of subsidies

To maintain me in business while the help toil on their bended knees

There’s order in my universe, though some may call my ways perverse

In short I am the model of the modern gen’ral manager.

There’s order in my universe, though some may call my ways perverse

In short I am the model of the modern gen’ral manager.