Oh lord, there is just so much silliness in the op-ed columns of late – what’s a poor, humble li’l liberal blogger to do?

I used to have a blast stopping by the Caledonian (Broken) Record site. Partly because their bizarre right-wing rants are so unhinged, they are strangely mesmerizing. I realize after a few moments that I like them so much precisely because I could often have written them myself, if I were trying to make fun of the more deranged wing of the Republican Party.

Case in point the latest, entitled “Greenpeace Arrives.” Oh trust me, dear readers, you do not want to miss this one – and those of you outside the circulation range of the CR will think I’m making this up.

I dunno who writes these things, but I picture him obsessively cutting out magazine pictures of Obama, drawing Hitler mustaches on all of them and pasting them all over his bedroom walls and ceiling. Op-ed follows, presented in the style of Mystery Science Theater 3000…

As if Vermont didn’t have enough problems with home-grown, wild-eyed liberals,

Hence our Governor and Lieutenant Governor.

we have now been invaded by Greenpeace,

Invasion! AAAAAAA!

‘Cause, of course, there were no Greenpeace members that already lived here, or were (gasp) born here.

Poor fellas in pretty serious denial about many of his fellow Vermonters…

one of the most radical environmentalist groups in America. If there is one radical group that we don’t need,

Wonder what “radical group(s)” he thinks Vermont does need.

in addition to all of the others that we have, it’s Greenpeace. How is it that it has decided to come here?

Just for you, Mr. Caledonian Record.

That’s easy. Vermont, Maine, and Oregon are the most liberal states in the union. Nowhere is there a more congenial place for far-left fringe liberals. Greenpeace’s arrival is a benchmark of Vermont’s progress into the radical left pantheon.

Does this mean you’re leaving?

Greenpeace moved into Burlington in June. In contrast with their usual stridency and theatrics when they squat somewhere, this time they are pretending to be staid, quiet workers from within the mainstream.

They could be your neighbors, your co-workers, your friends…

Hide the children, grab yer gun…

Nothing could be farther from the truth. The Holy Grail for Greenpeace, here, is their coming campaign to close Vermont Yankee. Their anti whaling and anti global warming zeal pales in comparison with their opposition to nuclear power.

(To say nothing of their anti-global-whale-warming zeal, or baby zeal, or something)

They will stop at nothing. Nothing.

We’re all going to die.

That which makes sense to half the world as the cleanest, cheapest power pushes Greenpeace into paroxysms of out-of-control fury.

Trust him, he’s an expert on paroxysms of out-of-control fury.

We are in for a fight if we are to succeed in defeating the far left in its holy mission to close Vermont Yankee, our only nuclear power plant and the source of nearly 40 percent of Vermont’s power, sold to us at prices that no other source of power or combination, thereof, can match.

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!

The fact that there hasn’t been a nuclear accident since Three Mile Island,

Leaks, breakdowns, structural collapses don’t count.

and even that did not cause any deaths or damages to America or Americans,

And the kids loved it!

doesn’t mean anything to Greenpeace or to their radical supporters on the left. Atomic power is their bogeyman,

It was given by the mighty hand of God.

and everybody knows that bogeymen are pure evil and should be erased from the earth for everybody’s good.

Actually, most everybody knows there’s no such thing.

So, now we have them. Hunker down. This clash is going to get very rough.

…and oh how they like it rough at the Broken Record.