Despite a year’s warning, all-night smoke-filled staff meetings, and rampant abuse of alcohol, the Green Mountain Daily front page team was unable to come up with a tenth “joke” post on April Fool’s Day in order to “go the full Onion” by offering readers a complete slate of mock news and discussion.

GMD writers collectively released a press release when word of the news broke this morning that said, simply “Yeah, but what’re ya gonna do? We’re just not that funny.”