Way back in January, I linked to a Comedy Central blog post comparing the presidential primary candidates to superheroes… Hillary Clinton as the She-Hulk, John Edwards as Nightwing, etc…
Well, it's Sunday night, there's a bizarre playoff game underway, and I think its time to revisit the which-comic-book-hero-or-villain-is-your-favorite-politician, but Vermont flavored.
Sorry, its just how I kill time waiting for tomorrow's Rasmussen poll to come out… the following should be avoided unless you're enough of a geek to be entertained by it. I realize that probably only gets me Ed and Bill, but the rest of you can find something more important to do, I'm sure.
Jim Douglas = The Chameleon
Yeah, I suppose this one is too easy, but whatever.
Chameleon's been in the professional supervillain business a looooooong time. Gets by by putting on whatever face he needs to meet his goals. You get the picture.
Gaye Symington = Kitty Pryde (aka Shadowcat) of the X-Men
Super power is to make herself and things she touches insubstantial. It's a power that doesn't always come in handy, but she's also technically skilled and her teammates absolutely love her.
Anthony Pollina = Underdog
Noted for his style of oration, Underdog always swoops into a crisis with his trademark pronouncement “There's no need to fear, Underdog is here.”
Underdog causes a lot of collateral damage when he crashes in. When questioned about it in the cartoon series, he replied (according to Wikipedia):
- I am a hero who never fails.
- I cannot be bothered with such details.
Brian Dubie = Unus the Untouchable
An X-Men villain, Unus has no particular skills or talents, but only posseses an impenetrable force field of unknown energy that keeps him from being taken down. Has repeated issues with getting enough oxygen to his brain.
You don't see Unus very often.
Tom Costello = The Red Bee
An attorney, not many people have heard of him (or have seen him since his heyday in the Golden Age). Doesn't bring a lot of firepower to the fight. Often dismissed as a C-lister.
Probably will only register a buzzing on Election Day, but you never know…
Jeb Spaulding = The Martian Manhunter
The member of the Justice League of America that people often forget to mention.
MM has oodles of power, but more often than not prefers to be back at the base manning the controls and sensors rather than getting into a slugfest.
Deb Markowitz = Batgirl/Oracle
Isn't as active as she was when she first hit the scene as batgirl. These days, we usually only hear from her if someone needs to get some information.
Bill Sorrell = Sandman
An accident of fate put him where he is. Never sure whether he's going to be tough as stone or as permeable as sand.
Looking at his history, its not usually very clear whether he's going to be one of the good guys or one of the bad guys in any given adventure.
Tom Salmon Jr. = Man At Arms
Military guy. Usually off doing his job when the story is playing out.
…and then there's the Washington delegation…
Patrick Leahy = The Crimson Chin
Powerful guy. Stars in his own comic. Looked up to and admired as a role model by kids. Some of the time spent making big pronouncements about truth and justice would probably be better spent kicking bad guy butt, though.
Bernie Sanders = Zorro
Wealthy guy who spends his time defending the working people from an oppressive govenment, with a tendency towards the dramatic.
Peter Welch = Kid Flash
Newer hero on the block, but has been getting things done with blinding speed. Has seen his power wax and wane over the years. Faces a challenge distinguishing himself from his high-profile predecessor while trying to define himself as his own hero.
And of course, the big guy:
Howard Dean = Thor
Started off as a doctor, found himself elevated to supreme power. Left Earth to do battle with the gods in ragnarok. Fell in battle and the realm of the gods was devastated. Has been reborn as the king of Asgard where he's been shaking up the old status quo.
Doesn't get back down to Earth to mix with the mere mortals so much anymore, as the responsibilities of rebuilding a bigger and better Asgard have been keeping him busy.
…and one more look at the national, but as tickets, rather than individuals…
Barack Obama and Joe Biden: Mr. Fantastic and the Thing
John McCain and Sarah Palin: Absorbing Man and Titania