…but after reading this a couple of times, I just can’t help myself.

Here’s to letting the democratic process play out the way it’s designed to do.

You’re all fired. Especially Julie.

Man, that is one seriously ugly picture.

(Couldn’t be more timely! – promoted by Jack McCullough)

Cross-posted from Integral Psychosis

In what must surely be the most shocking political development since the U.S. system of democratic liberalism was replaced in a bloodless 2000 judicial coup by fundamentalist extremists, China has announced that it will cease and desist all operations and actions in the Tibetan region  and restore full autonomy and self-preservation to the people’s of Tibet; all claims of Chinese ownership over Tibet have been officially repudiated and all Chinese settlers have been asked to return to mainland China.  The Chinese military began their withdrawl, accompanied by all government officials, at approximately 4:01am, local time.

The Dali Lama, who was last scene begining the long and treterous hike from Nepal to Lhasa that thousands of Tibetan refugees have traversed over the years in fleeing their homeland, was quoted merely as saying “Holy shit, I didn’t see that one coming.”

Later, an official from his government in exile released a clarifying statement witch read:

The Dali Lama, for quite some time, has insisted that he does not seek independence for Tibet, but merely “more autonomy” and freedom to practice and preserve their religion.  This move by the Chinese government will only disrupt our comfortable and privileged lifestyle here in Dharmala.  We ask that the Chinese government carefully reconsider their rash and bold actions.  Just because some bored, over-privileged middle class kids have been rioting in the streets of late does not mean that there’s any political legitimacy to their demands.  Without the Chinese occupation of Tibet, the region is at risk of losing millions of dollars annually in re-development funding, as well as tourist income into the local economy, which as we all know languished for thousands of years in mere subsistence and the idol pursuit of individual happiness and the meaning of human existence.

Only time will tell what will come next.  

Oh, well and I was looking forward  to months of Obama-defending posts.  Now, at least I know my last gasp of idealism will be crushed by the military-industrial complex…

http://www.theonion.com/conten…

In a surprising turn of events, and a dramatic confirmation of the story that cost CBS News anchor Dan Rather his job, President George W. Bush has been returned to active duty in the Texas Air National Guard. President Bush will resume his duties as an F-14 pilot, at the rank of First Lieutenant, although if he is able to meet the ANG’s stringent performance standards, he “stands an excellent chance of securing a promotion to Captain, and possibly even Major”, according to Col. Dwight Liggett, public affairs officer of the Texas Air National Guard.

Ironically, it was the Dan Rather story that brought this about. “Once the Dan Rather story came out, and we started getting FOIA requests, we started reviewing our old records,” Liggett said. “It turns out that Rather was right. Lieutenant Bush was a full year short of his commitment. The National Guard is not in the habit of wasting a million dollars plus of pilot training.”

President Bush, who will be known as “Lt. Bush” during his year of active duty, will be paid the standard lieutenant’s salary of $88,977.44, which is a cut from his Presidential salary of $400,000. Like his presidential job, though, his new job as a pilot comes with health insurance and a housing allowance; unlike his presidential job, as a National Guard pilot Lt. Bush will not have to buy his own uniforms.

It was just two weeks ago that President Bush was speaking wistfully of his wish to return to active duty, so that he could be “fighting for freedom alongside our brave men and women in Iran-I mean Iraq, ” and now it appears he will get that chance.

Col. Liggett said, “You know, even with the Dan Rather story, we might never have thought of this until he landed his plane on that flattop. He’s beyond our enlistment age limit, but he keeps himself fit and he can still stick those landings!”

It is unclear whether Bush will be able to maintain his presidential duties while on active ANG duty, and if he isn’t this will mean problems for the Republican administration, as Vice President Dick Cheney will be returning to his job as president of Halliburton. Apparently, a little-known clause in his separation agreement, tied to the value of his stop options, gives Halliburton the right to recall the Vice President if the value of his holdings goes above $1 billion; flush with profits from the Iraq war, Cheney said that “with any luck” he will reach this milestone in mid-May.

Readers of this site will recognize a clear set of policy priorities for an odum administration: support Vermont citizens and business growth by moving to a universal (preferably a single-payer) health care plan as soon as possible, decrease the tax burden on vulnerable Vermonters by looking at overall financial burdens (not just property tax) and move the entire system towards one predicated on the ability to pay, initiate a sensible policy on crime and law enforcement (including curtailing, as CL calls it, the “war on people who use marijuana”), look forward to a post-Vermont Yankee world by emphasizing conservation and renewable alternatives, re-prioritize state infrastructure needs with an eye towards safer roads and a forward-looking approach to public transportation, affirmatively asserting what power the Governor’s office may have in bringing National Guard troops back from Iraq, etc.

We all know the problems, its time to talk solutions.

So how will I win (and how can you help)?

I have a big deficit to close with Jim Douglas. Currently my poll numbers put me at only 22% (those are actually Peter Galbraith’s numbers, but since nobody knows who he is either, its the general consensus that they were simply responding to the “Democrat” label).

That’s not good, but it does put me 7 points ahead of Anthony Pollina.

What this means is that, numerically, its going to be nearly impossible for Pollina to catch up with me when we force a primary by making sure both of us appear on both Prog & Dem ballots (by write-in if necessary). The numbers just aren’t there, and for the good of the state, he should consider suspending his effort. Pollina’s platform as a tested, experienced candidate and political policy insider is simply not what people are interested in anymore. People want change, and Pollina represents the past. As a younger, fresher face who can deliver a more inspiring speech, I will be best suited to proceed past the primary phase by offering voters real hope for change. That’s hope. For change. Change. And hope.

Although the poll numbers do look grim, those polls are based on surveys of consistent voters. There are many, many Vermonters who simply never vote, because they are so disenchanted with their choices. They will, therefore, all go to the polls to vote for me, as I represent the people. And they are people. Those who I do not repesent are something else entirely. So the polls are, in the end, meaningless.

Now some of you may wonder why it’s taken me so long to jump into this thing, but the truth is it’s still early. Way early. Nobody really cares about these campaigns until after the session – or later. The only people watching now are the chattering classes and the political insider crowd (the press, the activists, teachers, white collar workers, women over 50, seniors, union members, white men under 30, minorities, first time voters, etc). Regular folks, such as recent immigrants from Eastern Europe between the ages of 18 and 35 who are voting as citizens for the first time, are really turned off by too much political talk too soon. And I respect that.

Vermonters are concerned about issues and only issues. And the biggest issue of all is what letter you put after your name on the ballot. It is one of the great issues of our time. I have chosen a D, which is part of the family of happy, smiling emoticons – not the emoticon that sticks out its tongue. I believe Vermonters don’t like politicians who stick out their tongues at them.

What you can do to help is speak to your neighbors about my candidacy. Don’t try and persuade them, as persuasion is simply too passe, and with the serious issues facing Vermonters, we really can’t allow for the formality of considering other points of view. Simply tell them to vote for me. If they are dubious, tell them again more loudly. Peppering them with derisive put-downs can be helpful.

I will be assuring people that I can be Governor. There will be concerns, such as will come out when people look into my personal finances. I’ll be the first to admit that they are a shambles, as I am in quite a bit of debt. Some time over the next few weeks, I expect some benevolent supporter will anonymously bail me out, though, so my debts won’t serve as a distraction from the real issues, such as campaign finance reform.

But I also will need to assure voters that I understand how to be Governor. While I don’t have direct governmental experience, I have long been an observer of State Government, and believe I have a good understanding based on those observations about what qualities make a successful Governor. Voters are leery of government intrusion in their lives, so I will always do as little as possible. Voters do, however, expect a leader with vision and imagination, so I will promise to put forward at least one outrageous idea, doomed to failure and pulled out of thin air, at the beginning of every legislative session. I will be as uncooperative as possible with the legislature because Vermonters understand that the legislature is always the problem. But it’s also true voters don’t want a leader who is too ideologically rigid, so I pledge to you that, when the legislature does push through a new program that I disapprove of, I will be sure to take credit for it after the fact across the country – in the process, doing my part to promote Vermont to outsiders.

And yes, there will be ribbons.

I have a dream. So stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and dream it with me. Unless you’re driving.

Some pretty” radical “stuff tucked away at the end of this Time Argus editorial .In light of Gov. Jim Douglas last week literally recommending paving over the road problems with a thin coat of asphalt for the time being . A real plan to correct the States crumbling infrastructure is needed.Correcting these problems is a form of economic development.Old fashioned municipal projects for the coming hard times .

Investment in public infrastructure cannot end once these projects are built. We are learning that those investments are ongoing. Otherwise, the roads, bridges or buildings will crumble. Our old school buildings, hospitals, libraries, bridges and roads are a legacy that must be maintained, or else we grow poorer.

The anti-tax movement of the last 30 years has undermined those investments, and now we are paying the price. At the same time the tax system has been skewed so badly that wealth in the nation, instead of being directed toward the public good, has been channeled to the wealthy few. These priorities may be shifting. It will take time to secure the funding necessary to bring the full slate of needed improvements to Vermont’s roads. But now is the time for it to begin, one pothole at a time.

from Times Argus Editorial   3/31/08

The ProgBlog has a good post on this today  

Crossposted to Daily Kos

ISLAND POND, VT– In an unprecedented move, conservative leaders took their boldest move yet this week in opposing same-sex marriage by threatening to divest themselves altogether from the institution of marriage should civil union laws be replaced with same-sex unions.

This strategy was devised during a week-long retreat in which conservatives from around the state met to fight the lavender menace.

 The conference was sponsored by several groups, including “Fagbusters,” “Women in Subservience to Dominant Men (WiSDoM),” “Americans Against Unwanted Godless Heathens” (AAUGH), “TAKE BACK VERMONT FROM THOSE BAD BAD PEOPLE WE DON’T LIKE AND NO WE’RE NOT THE SAME AS THAT HEALTHCARE GROUP AND NO WE DON’T MEAN YOU SHOULD BRING SOME MAPLE SYRUP HOME, BUT IF YOU WANT TO, WE’VE GOT SOME IN THE BARN AND WE’LL BE GLAD TO GET SOME FOR YOU IF YOU CAN JUST GIVE US A MOMENT, NO IT’S REALLY NO TROUBLE, SO LONG AS YOU’RE NOT ONE OF THOSE QUEERS.”  

“We’ve got to put a lid on this,” said special guest Louisiana Senator David Vitter, during a speech at the conference. “If we let those people marry, it’s going to muck up marriage for all of us, making it a soiled and dirty institution, no longer graced by the sanctity of God. If this happens, next time I get divorced I won’t even bother with a new trophy wife. I may be forced to give up on traditional marriage entirely, and visit prostitute after prostitute instead, provided they’re all real Americans.”

The comment was met by applause from many of the conference attendees, all of whom coincidentally happened to be men older than fifty.

Related:

• Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry;


• Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry

This is a food for fuels program of a sort.

the Guardian UK

The EU is being urged to take action to stop a biofuel trading scam that exploits US agricultural subsidies and undermines the fight against global warming.

Up to 10% of biofuel exports from the US to Europe are believed to be part of the rogue scheme reaping big profits for agricultural trading firms.

The “splash and dash” scam involves shipping biodiesel from Europe to the US where a dash of fuel is added, allowing traders to claim 11p a litre of US subsidy for the entire cargo. It is then shipped back and sold below domestic prices, undercutting Europe’s biofuel industry.

The trade is not illegal, but flouts the spirit of producing green fuel by transporting it needlessly across the Atlantic at a time when campaigners are voicing concern about emissions from global shipping.

The producers’ body, the European Biodiesel Board, has uncovered the trade as part of its investigation into why British, German and Spanish producers are in financial trouble at a time when biodiesel prices remain high. The board will call for retaliatory action against the US over subsidies for its leading biofuel.

Biofuels are plant-based oils from crops such as soy and corn. They are expensive to produce but have become relatively cheaper as the price of crude

US producers worried about the trade also call it the U-boat trade because vessels arrive and then almost immediately return, he said.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/apr/01/biofuels.energy

crossposted @ www.vermontbloggernaut.blogspot.com

Breaking news just came over the wire, Earth’s axis is off kilter. Scientists studying global climate change have discovered earth’s axis is fluctuating, this they say explains the odd weather as of late. The earth instead of it normal rotation, is fluctuating like a spinning top. The reason, the northern hemishere is top heavy!

The earth has experienced such tremendous human population growth in the northern hemisphere that the planet has become top-heavy. Instead of a steady rotation it weebles, wobbles, and pitches forward. It has created an interesting phenomenon. As greenhouse gases are put in motion and slammed against the atmosphere, their density increases. When mixed with carbon dioxide it forms an odd liquid mixture. This pollution solution then runs down the inside of the atmoshere and falls out the hole in the ozone layer above Antrctica.

Scientists estimate in 50 years time all the pollution and greenhouse gases in the atmosphere will fall out and no longer be a problem. They are concerned however about the fluctuating rotation. They expect that unless large numbers of people move to the southern hemisphere, the planet will be condemned to a day of summer. followed by a day of winter, continuing year round.

Global crop production is expected to be interupted bringing famine and hunger. Because of the adverse weather patterns, green energy production is also in danger. Only those countries able to power entirely on nuclear and coal will be able to survive. Already nations have mobilized their armies and called up reserve troops to quell riots and looters. Stores have closed their doors, as well as banks and schools.

Aren’t you glad its just April Fools Day!!