So I’ve been consistently and harshly critical of the Randy Brock campaign. The lackluster start, the invisibility throughout the legislative session*, the missed opportunities, the minimal online presence, and the prefab Spampaign that launched a few days ago.

*Yes, I know it’s a Vermont tradition to begin campaigns after the Legislature adjourns, but (1) it’s an antiquated notion, (2) it’s more honored in the breach than the observance, (3) there are ways around it even if you want to publicly honor it, and (4) Remember Gaye Symington. If you’re going against a powerful incumbent, don’t wait until May.

Okay, wise guy, you may well say. If Randy Brock’s campaign has been a laughable series of missteps, then what would you do?

Here’s my strategy: Go all out, go all in. Hold nothing back, release the Kraken if you’ve got one. Bound For Glory Or Bound For Hell. This strategy requires a candidate willing to take chances and defy conventional wisdom. It also requires a candidate with a personality. Oh well, let’s spin this out anyway…  

— Fire the damn out-of-state consultants. They’re wasting your money on slick but inauthentic material.

— Stop the generic attacks on Shumlin, and identify targeted attacks that have a chance to stick.

— Drop the Titanicare weaksauce. Call it Shummycare. (With apologies to the Estate of Peter Freyne.) Put it all at Shumlin’s feet, and make it personal.  Heck, keep calling him Shummy, he might get mad and make some mistakes.

— Don’t call him “the most liberal Governor in history”; that doesn’t resonate. Go for Shumlin’s real negatives: his narcissism, his unilateral style, his bombast, his occasional screwing-over of his allies, his obvious ambitions for higher office, his cozy relationships with big corporations. (That’s where the $21 million CVPS deal can fit into a larger narrative.)  And yes, you can be a Republican and attack a Democrat for corporate ties; it’s called conservative Populism, and whether or not it makes sense as a political philosophy, it can resonate with many voters.

— Stop with the over-exaggerated “Brink of disaster” stuff. Nobody believes it, except the real hardliners. Effective attacks have to be at least somewhat plausible.

— Talk to independents, moderates, and even liberals. Find out what they want in a Governor, and find ways to tie that to your strengths. And identify issues that might help you pull away potential Shumlin voters, even if they aren’t “core Republican” issues.

— From those conversations, give people some positive reasons to vote for you. Specifically you, not just some generic Republican parroting the usual Republican talking points.

(The preceding two ought to have been done months ago, sometime last year. But it’s not too late.)

— Schedule as many joint appearances as you can with Phil Scott, the only VT Republican with proven broad appeal and credibility.  

— Be creative about campaign appearances. But whatever you do, don’t do it halfway; authentically enjoy whatever you’re doing, whether you’re good at it or not. The only thing you can’t be is stiff and inauthentic. If you can’t milk a cow without looking like Calvin Coolidge, then don’t milk a damn cow. Go to places where you’re comfortable enough to come across as real. (Maybe that means going to Dealer.com and talking high-tech.)

— Stop defending Vermont Yankee. There’s a sizable majority who either don’t like nuclear power or don’t trust Entergy. Mindlessly defending VY is a vote-loser, and it overshadows the rest of your energy pitch (such as it is). Here’s a viable, and Republican, alternative: “I want Vermont Yankee to be part of our energy mix if it can be operated responsibly and if the decommissioning fund is replenished.”

— Do your own radio ads. Start with your own ideas (assuming that you do have some) and work with a radio pro (there’s lots of ’em looking to make a few extra bucks) to write good scripts and help you read them effectively.

— Same with the TV ads. Get a local videographer, or even a good amateur, and let them be a little rough-edged.  

— Dump the “bears in the woods” spot and, if you think it’ll help bring Shumlin down a peg, do a fresh commercial emphasizing the ridiculousness of the whole bird-feeder escapade, and Shumlin’s cluelessness for repeatedly bragging about that really stupid thing he did.

— Take some chances. Speak off the cuff. Engage reporters whenever they show up. Talk to voters as much as possible. Have someone documenting it with a camcorder, and post the good stuff online. Create a YouTube channel that’s actually entertaining. Yes, it’s possible.  

— Fully engage yourself in social media. Train yourself to Tweet and post to Facebook whenever anything happens, relevant or not. (Twitpics from the road are better than stock campaign shots.) Mention interesting people you meet, things you saw, what you had for lunch. If you can’t do this, get yourself a college-age intern who can keep you on the stick or even turn your comments into effective posts. And make it real, not just the obviously phony “I look forward to seeing you at the parade” stuff.

— Keep the bear mascot, but turn it into a full-fledged cartoon. Decouple it from the CVPS issue and either make it more generic (Shummy Bear?) or give it a wardrobe of issue-specific T-shirts. Don’t use it at Brock events; send it to Shumlin appearances. Tell the costume-wearer to stay within the law, but otherwise do whatever it takes to distract attention.  

— Given your age, this is almost certainly your last shot at statewide office. Dive into this thing, give it all you’ve got, and don’t be afraid to be edgy and different.

I’m not saying that Randy Brock would win if he did all this. But he’d certainly attract a lot of attention. And he’d at least have a chance, which he doesn’t with his current Spampaign. He might even set up his party for future success if he charts a new course and exploits some weaknesses in Shumlin’s armor.

I also don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that Randy Brock will actually do any of this. As I said above, it requires a candidate with a personality.